God, thank you

without a doubt its a thank you most gracious Lord.
 in that you have helped me find a play-joint for the boy which fits into what i am looking for.
  - no selling of food/junk but opportunity to take my own food there
 - dedicated to toddlers with toys suited for them.
 - cheap
 - relatively local
more grease to the elbows of those who thought about this place

God - Possessor of All sovereignty - MALIKA -L - MULK..

Translation based on RK is as follows:
3:26 - Say, "Our god: possessor of all sovereignty. You grant sovereignty to whomever You choose, You remove sovereignty from whomever You choose. You grant dignity to whomever You choose, and commit to humiliation whomever You choose. In Your hand are all provisions. You are Omnipotent.

3:27 - You merge the night into the day, and merge the day into the night. You produce the living from the dead, and produce the dead from the living, and You provide for whomever You choose, without limits

 i have not bothered with alternative translation because everyone i have seen generally captures the essence of what is above.

remembering these two verses which i have an affinity for  in terms of the loveliness the words and message it imparts.It is one of the verses i remember hearing my father  say  as a young child and i guess it stuck with me.

Allahu La ilaha illa huwa  Hayyu - l - Qayuum. - God: there is no other God but Him the Ever-living - Self Subsisting.

I worship Thee MG

I worship Thee, most gracious God,
And all Thy ways adore;
And every day I live, I seem
To love Thee more and more.

When obstacles and trials seem
Like prison walls to be,
I do the little I can do,
And leave the rest to Thee.

I have no cares, O blessèd Will,
For all my cares are Thine;
I live in triumph, Lord, for Thou
Hast made Thy triumphs mine.

He always wins who sides with God;
To him no chance is lost;
God’s will is sweetest to him when
It triumphs at his cost.

Ill that He blesses is our good,
And unblest good is ill;
And all is right that seems most wrong,
If it be His sweet will.

http://www.hymntime.com/tch/htm/i/w/t/iwtmggod.htm

 Just  googled most gracious lord and it brought me to this page with this hym - still don't know how its sung hehehe

 but the words are lovely and  message shared by me too.

Speaking in tongues

It is a thought in my head why I think the best way to communicate with thee o lord is via arabic. BUT it makes me wonder why I think so because I guess I feel closer using the language of Quran scripture to try to convey my feelings to thee.. BUT you are a Lord who already knows what I want to say before I say it.. Does meditating/praising God in arabic give more prominence to ones prayer??? I think not!!!!
I find that for somethings the beauty of what I want to say sounds better to me in arabic and for some things speaking in yoruba or english better serves my purpose, whichever way God is hearer and seer and He knows our every thought.. Remember he created humans into various tribes/cultures so I choose to accept that not one language takes presidence with Him over others.
Its just a thought this evening as I wanted to say God help me but I choose to say Rabbi Unsurni.. As I read in Quran where prophet Noah called on God to deliver him from his oppressors..
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funny thing about life

i am afraid of death.. i accept it is a part of life but i live in fear of it.

does that make sense?
 its weird.. i fully accept that death is part of life in that everyone must experience it but i find that with the existence of children, i get more and more afraid of it.
 i want to see my children grow, i want to hold my grandchildren, i want to be able to offer help if i am able as my mum offered for my
 its interesting this shift of mine in this way.
 i remember a friend of mine - wajid by name who read my hands and said i would pass at 35.
 now this age i have dreaded it, i guess cos of what he said. but then he also mentioned i would marry twice..
 now i believe that only God knows the end of anyone - how it is someone can read mt palm to tell me my future if commendable but i am highly skeptical of it but it still does not let go from the subconscious and lingers mixing in with my fear of the unknown.

 God be praised in all of the heavens and earth , He alone controls life and death,

Naming Ceremony..

in my culture ,  new children are named on the 8th day.

 i do not subscribe to culture but rather subscribe to worshiping God alone - not that i look down on cultural practices - as long as it does not conflict in my worship to God  and i do not do or say anything that goes against this stance then what the heck - all things belong to God - customs, traditions and what nots..

  the naming ceremony involves calling in a religious leader to officiate and offer prayers on behalf of the new child.

 now i don't subscribe to anyone offering prayers for me or my children especially when i their mother have my own voice and can offer my own prayers to God.. i believe in direct contact with God as i have my own voice
 i don't know anyone's heart so i cannot say that they are in a better position than me to be able to offer prayers just because society accepts then as religious leaders. i do not subscribe to this

 it is this basis that i am not doing so - then again - i cannot guarantee that prayers will be offered to God alone because as is the norm with generalised "muslim" behaviors - one must offer praise/supplication to muhammed in the belief that God will favour  prayers.. All worship is to God alone  end off -  no other supplication/praise to anyone other than God is acceptable

 In the name of God the Most Gracious Most Merciful
All praise be to God, our Creator and Lord
It is said in the scripture that: (41:47) - With God is the knowledge about the Hour (end of the world). No fruits emerge from their sheaths, nor does any female conceive or give birth, without His knowledge. 

Glory be to God that He has provided me with a daughter, another child. - 
i am grateful and thankful.for this blessing and i ask your protection on her  on the strength of the verse i read in which marys mother invoked your protection on her daughter -  3:36 - I too, ask your protection on her.

 so Dear Lord - You have bestowed on me a baby girl, I invoke your protection on her and her descendants, from the evils and vices  in this world - I ask that you guide her and inspire her - keep in her heart  an unwavering love for you and grant her courage and understanding, guidance and steadfastness. Keep her walking a righteous path in thy service. Keep her as a submitter to thee in this life and the hereafter.

i ask from thee as you are the Provider, Creator. You that have initiated her and sustained her in the womb for 9 months and delivered her  out safely into this world. She is dedicated to you my Lord so i will call her Anais Maryam, Please accept her in thy service and shower your blessings and guidance on her always.

at this moment i will not forget my first - He too is dedicated to you and i ask these same things for him from you.. He is called Abdul Rahman. 

I am grateful to thee O lord for the lives of my children that is entrusted to thee, For their souls that are with thee, safeguarded from the evils and vice of this world - I beseech you to please keep them righteous, keep them praising and worshiping you always.

My heart is here

God I thank you that you listened to me again and I thank you for the wonderful people you directed my way to assist me.
I am grateful for the life of my second and I will call her maryam. She is a girl. I beseech you to guide and protect her from evil in this life and hereafter. I ask that you bless her and her descendants and shower on her your wonderous mercy..strenghten her with your grace.. She is of your stock, a righteous stock.. Inspire her right from youth to worship you and to love you. Help her to walk thriugh life with companions of righteousness..my mistakes let them not befall her and give her better judgement than I had.. Let her have self pride and worth, whilst not being arrogant, keep her humble in they service always
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unexpected Blessing..

i am overwhelmed with emotion right now because i never expected what just happened to  us.
 my dad gave me a gift that i did not expect out of the bloom and i am grateful to God Almighty for his provisions and his mercy  in that of the parents he gave to me.

 my relationship with my dad is weird because of the polygamous situation but  i am grateful that he remembered me and i thank God almighty for him.

 in my sanest and cool headed of moments - i am not bitter that his relationship with my mum is sour - i just want him to  be happy just as  i want my mum to be happy.
 i am not resentful that he chose my step-mum over my mum - that's life - i happen to like my step-mum and if she makes my dad happy then so be it..

 it doesn't mean i love my mum less - infact i love my mum more because she is my mum. and i especially like her more because she was there for me when i never expected her to be - she came through for me.

 i jut try to learn to live with the circumstances life has metted out for me in terms of family life,

 before i digress - God thank You very much for this blessing - help me O lord to do good with it to be charitable and considerate.

Most exalted are Thou O Lord and Thank you one again.

worried

my Lord i come to thee to hear out my fears in regards to going to the hi
ospital.
 i dont know who will look after AR for when i go in and i need our special grace that everything will be ok for him me and our new one.
i guess out of everything that is what worries me the most.. the care of AR..
 i beg of you oh lord to please make everything ok for him for me and our new one.
every one is sustained by you  and our protection comes from you so i turn to you to ask your help.
i do not trust MV to look after him because he seeks to control everything he does from what he plays with to what he eats/drinks.. i feel he does not want him to be a child.. he doesnt not know how to be a child..
 so i am fretting as to whose care AR will be in.. but the only carer, the very best of carers is You my Lord so i place myself, Ar and the new one all in they capable hands..

to My soul - AR

I knew i loved you before I met you,
I knew i would cherish you till I die
I knew that God has sent you to me
I know i love you even now

 i am grateful to the Almighty for you,  everything about you
 your tantrums, your smile, your kindness
 I consider it a blessing that He has sent you to me.
 I love you with all my heart, not cause that you are my first child but because you are my soul.
May the almighty Lord bless you abundantly with guidance, inspiration and mercy.
May  He reign in your life as he guides you through this world

  if a mothers blessings/prayers mean anything then my prayer  for you is as thus:
May you know  and Love God our creator
May you reach far beyond your parents ever reached
May You have Gods love and guidance
May God forever bestow on you his mercy
May you always walk in the path of righteousness
May my weaknesses be of your strengths
May my strengths be of second nature to  you
May you have wisdom,logic and understanding from God
May your life be clean and hassle free
May God guide you in each and every step you take
May you learn from my mistakes
May you love God more

I love you, you love me but we love God more...

grieviance

i am coming to you my Lord to hear out my grievance and to ask for your help for this bitterness that is slowly eating at me giving me bad feelings when i think about how i have been treated.

there are so many issues and i don't know where to start.
 but i will start in regards to the issue of considering me your equal and allowing me privileges when i was away.
 i constantly pleaded with you to let me drive and to add me to your insurance so i would be covered driving your vehicle but you refused. always coming up with one excuse or another then i stopped asking because it was clear you had no intention to let me drive.
 i don't know what you have against women driving but i believe this is an unfounded notion that you hold and i can find no justifiable reason or excuse for it.
there was only one time that you allowed me to drive your vehicle and this was when my mum was around and you did it not because you wanted to but rather because my mother had complained on my behalf and you wanted to show - falsely -  that you were taking my matters into  consideration. after this time  it was clear your intentions were false and i refused. and i  assert this because you confirmed that was the matter

 before u married me i  was independent within my means that God allowed me - i had my own car, i enjoyed driving a fact i told you several times and i remember conversations with you where in you complained that you do not like to drive at all and only drove as a means to an end - i remember even whilst driving and you mentioned this fact i would say to you well i like driving so let me drive us both with you always making one false promise or another that yes you would but you never.

 in the uk when i came back - i  established myself and God was favorable on me in that he supported me with a member of my family that i never knew i could count on who provided me with a car free of charge and gave me the opportunity to be mobile hence no hardship on me or my child.
when you came here immediately you wanted to drive the car  - both cars -  and initially i didn't let you only because i had tried to show you myself but i am afraid i am not a patient teacher and i said the best would be for you to take professional catch up lessons to help you understand about motoring in the uk.

 this is one of the things that bother me Lord - this feeling of  disappointment - because when i try to remember it i cannot believe or accept that  someone  can be this way to his wife - to a woman he married -  he saw how i was - i did not deceive him .about who i was, what i enjoyed or  my lifestyle yet once he married me he changed completely.

its like the instance that i bring up -  regarding my kaftans - when he proposed to me i was wearing a kaftan - i had worn it severally in his presence - he said he liked them - yet once he married me he had an objection to them - this was the fateful day that he was violent with me and pushed me against a door handle which jarred by side. this is me a women that was 3 months pregnant.

 its like a woman has no value  to you.. you don't consider her to he a human being worthy  of your time or your consultations.. you don't consider her to have any opinions or thoughts and certainly she cannot do anything without a man.. and i ask myself where does someone have this kind of  idea come from. if in your village that is how they treat woman - that i snot how women are treated in my family because my father and mother raised us to be independent to have a voice...  and that is how i will maintain myself. a woman is a human being equal in the eyes of God to a man.. there is no distinction.. and that i show i regard myself and run my life. i am not a second class citizen and i cannot accept anyone treating me as such. if that is the way you treat woman in your family then good for you because i am not from your family or from your culture and i will not accept anyone treating me as such.

you gave me money  for my birthday and that money i chose to buy a car from my brother with it and this car has not served its purpose and i have to get another car.
 when i told you of my car woes - one of the things you made clear to me was you  have no money - and when i sit to  analyse the conversation  i think -  i ask myself - but i never asked him for money - i was just sharing my problems - i never asked him for  money yet he saw fit to make it clear to me that i have no money.
 when it came to choosing the car  i would have gotten  another car immediately but he gave me advise not to  rush and to take my time. which i  valued.
 when we sent to see the car - he then offered to  want to contribute towards the car -
 and it makes me think - in the privacy of us and God you turn me down yet in the public with someone else there(car salesman) you pretend to care or offer to shoulder responsibility. what sort of a dubious person are you.

 this is another thing that gets me O lord. that i dont understand.

 God this is the man i married - i married him because i love him and was willing to share my life with him but what i keep getting from him is that he is incapable of loving or sharing his life with me.  so i ask myself why did he marry me then..but i don't try to grumble Lord i try to accept. if this is a lesson for me to learn Lord then i have no choice but to accept.

 i left and have no intention of going back because of the way he treated me - he did not consider me his wife or his equal - he sought to impose on me not share or consider my feelings - he sought to make rules without consulting me and doing things he felt was right and that was it. I will not let that happen again.

  so my lord i don't want to be bitter,  i don't want to have bitter feelings at all - so i come to you to ask you to help me and soothe my bruised heart.

 this is a new chapter i am entering into with this vehicle and i seek your protection and guidance  as always as before going forward.
i have no one but you my Lord, as my master and help and i can not have anyone but you,
 so God help my heart help me..
 i want a husband that is loving caring that i know fully and i am safe in the knowledge that he cares for and loves for or me not one  who is like a bastard that does not know the value of a good woman..
i turn to thee yet again my Lord the best provider and my help.

I call on Thee Lord for help

My lord I need your help.. My emotions are all over the place again with low mood and feeling tearful. I need your help Lord. Strenghten me and enlighten me Lord
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Without a doubt thank you Lord

Lord, thank you for the inspiration you put my way this morning. For the direction you placed in me and for accepting it for me.
This morning you placed in me an idea which I never had, but I followed through and succesful you made it come. You Lord have heard my call and you have helped me. Thank you very much. Thank you immensley thank you plentiful. For indeed I can say with evidence and conviction that the wonders of God are true
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Praise to God in all the heavens and earth and Ma his Glory reign in my life always

 this is what i found sometime ago when i was searching for meditation material  and i must say it struck me immediately. it was read by Minsharry Alafasy as that is how i found  it,,
 because in this all reference is to God alone - there is no reference to anyone else other than God - as it should be.. it is simple and heart warming.. there are man versions on internet with various additions and insertions of muhammed which i don't subscribe to because for me all praise is to God alone no one else - God alone no addition or subtraction

 God alone - that is who i want to serve and  worship- in any language  - as long as it is to God alone.

for the none arabic speaker there is a loose translation  included to give u a gist of what it is.. but search for yourself if u can find better..

Allahumma lakal-hamdu anta nuurus-samawaati wal-ardhi  - wa lakal-hamdu anta qayyumus-samawaati wal-ardhi - wa lakal-hamdu anta rabbus-samawaati wal-ardhi wa man fihinna

My God, For You is all Praise - You are the Light of the Heavens and the Earth and for You is all Praise – You are the Sustainer of the Heavens and the Earth  and for You is all Praise – you are the Lord of the Heavens and the Earth and all that is in them.

Antal-Haqqu wa wa'dukal-haqqu wa qawlukal-haqqu wa liqa’uka haqqu, wal-jannatu haqqu wan-naaru haqqu, was-sa'atu haqqu

You are the Truth, Your Promise is True, Your Speech is True, Your Meeting is True, Paradise is True, the Hellfire is True, the Hour is True (of Judgment) 

Allahumma laka aslamnaa, wa bika aamannaa, wa alayka tawakkalnaa, wa ilayka aanabna, wa bika khasamna, wa ilayka hakamna, faghfir lanaa maa qaddamnaa wa maa akhkharnaa, wa maa asrarnaa wa maa alamnaa, anta Llahu- la ilaha ila anta..

My God,  To You  i have submitted  in You have we believed, upon You have we relied.. to you we repent and for You have we argued, to You have we taken our judgement, so forgive us all that we have done and what we have not done, what we have hidden and what we have disclosed.You are God - there is no other God but Thee..

Allahuma lakal -hamdu bima khalaqtana wa razaqtana, wa haday tana waa alamtana, wa anqaztana wa farajta anna

My God, For You is all Praise -  (as)you have created us and provided for us, and guided us and taught us and  saved us and given us a way..

 its a shame i don't know how to insert a mp3 file so you can listen as well..

Falaq--nasr--ikhlas

The three Qul: towards the end of the Quran, ikhlas, nasr and falaq. Were revealed in order of falaq, nasr and ikhlas.. I am fascinated by these three surahs.
I prefer falaq. For evening prayers afterwayds seeking from God refuge from things dark/mysterious that like to operate under cover of darkness.

Nasr I prefer for afternoons when the mind is prone to waning and seedless thoughts seeps in and ikhlas for mornings to affirm my choice and conviction that God is one.
I jus feel there is something to these three surahs.. Very interesting..
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