feelings...

right now i am not happy my lord so i seek courage from Thee,
i seek patience and guidance on this path that i have facing me.
the whole past episodes have left a bitter taste in my mouth, it is making me regret, making me reconsider because i cannot seem to rationalise how the one i love can be this way.

whilst now he is trying i am afraid it may be late -

All i keep getting played back in my head is all the past irrational behaviours - how is it that one can change like that.

life is ever changing - i know that i am not saying i am perfect and without blame myself - but all this emotional state that i am i snot helping me in the slightest.

i am not happy where i am becauase i have been bullied to come here - and i have to acknowledge that it is bullying. my last experience here was not that great and i was reluctant to come back -

my Lord i am in dire need of your Help and guidance....