....the essence of this little girl called Fats………

There are many things I pray for Lord, some of which I can put to words and others that I cannot describe. All of which only You know.

I can pray for lots of money and wealth Lord, but that is not what my heart desires. For money is only important in this world, hence it is a material thing for this material world.

I can pray for success with my job, marriage, children, family but that too is material because true success comes from You and is with your approval.

Lord, I can pray for longevity of life but when there is bounty and everlasting life in the hereafter, why would I want to stay here?

In all perspective only the little things matter for it is the little things that pave way for the big ones.

Dear Lord, I do pray for contentment in this life and in the hereafter, to be happy in whatever and wherever I am and do.

I pray for happiness in my life, I pray for my parents, especially my mother. I pray that You guide them and show them truth.

Darling Lord, I pray that you guide me and protect me; I pray that You please forgive me Lord. I pray that You continue to support me, sustain me and comfort me.

Most important of all things that I can pray for my lord is that I never ever forget You, that I always continue to praise You, that I never forget to thank You for all that You do for me and for all that You are and mean to me.

I am very thankful, dearest Lord for every single mercy You show and award me. For all the comfort and joy You provide for me.

I am thankful Lord, for the guidance and protection You afford me.

I also am thankful Lord for the things I see that You do for me and that I do not know.

I thank You Lord, and I praise You for you are my Lord, the Great Lord, My King, my Creator, my God of today, and my God of yesterday and my God of tomorrow, the most Gracious Lord.

Words cannot explain the magnitude of thanks I have for You lord, You who from my existence has been guiding and protecting me. You - who has been sustaining me and has been merciful unto me, You my lord who has been providing for me, even when i have to be honest and say that i dont deserve it, you still provide for me, and help me out of tight spots that I (head strong girl that I am) put myself into.
Oba Aiye, Oba Ogo, for all my life i am indebted to you, and i am grateful, very grateful.

Lord, I sin almost every second, with every thought and at times it is beyond me how You still offer me Your protection daily. All I can think to say is that it is because You are All-forgiving and Most Merciful.
The expanse of Your love and mercy is beyond my contemplation and understanding but nevertheless I am very thankful and grateful for all that You do for me and I pray that You continue to protect, guide, forgive and inspire me.

Smear This.........

I have just been back from the doctors.
Mainly to see them about this nasty cough that I have when I was cornered by one of the nurses who told me I was due for a cervical smear. Apparently they have been chasing me to come and have one done but have been unable to get hold of me.

Do I have a problem with the smear? Well….. Maybe yes I do and maybe I don’t.

I don’t because it’s a check that my woman regions are working fine and dandy… so I recognise the benefit in doing this.

I also do because, hell, it’s an invasion of my privates that I have knownfully kept private. So the thought of “open wide and take a deep breath” holds me with abject fear.

I had a dream last night about sex and about opening legs etc. Thankfully I kept mine clamped fully shut. (This did not bear much importance when I woke up this morning other than praying to God pleas help me not to have such dreams again: but today the opportunity presented itself for the smear and so the dream came to mind.)

Anyhow,
I went over not knowing what to expect…
Either something embarrassing will happen to me while at the doctors or “don’t know what”
Knowing fully well, that if it should happen, it would happen to ME as I am always the clumsy one that things just happen to.
Someone walks in and catches me without any pants on
my pussy would stink ( thank God I know for a fact this is not so)
I would fart and stink the place up
I would have an orgasm on the table

This list can be endless depending on how worked up I want my mind to be, - I have to exercise a bit of caution here and stop with this little list so far

Well, back to this smear thing,
Nice lady she was, talked me through a set of questions asked about contraception and gave me a kind of a disapproving look when I said I don’t use any

Ehm Ehm, Mrs.!!!
The follow on question would have been, “is u having sex”? And that would have set her mind at ease.

At this point, my mind started to calculate the last time I has sex………and Thank God for that.

Anyhow she said to take my trousers off and lie down on the examination table, so dutifully as I am (sometimes) I complied with this directive.

She came over, asked me to part my legs………
Asked me to feel comfortable and relaxed
Asked me to part my legs wider and let them flop to the side

(Honestly I cannae do this job this woman is doing, imagining looking at someone else’s thing… ha ha ha ha, I would be dying with laughter or uncontrollable giggles if that were me)

So, to sort of calm me down she started to ask about work and what I done so we had a sort of mini conversation, while me being aware of the forceps she was about to protrude inside me.

So it went in and bloody Hell!!! It was painful!!!
I had to take several deep breaths to cope with this damn thing travelling up inside me….. Then she started to expand the stuff as well, so that she could get a swab of the cervix.

The whole experience has terrified me and I thought to put it down in words.

SO right now, I feel violated….. Violated because I haven’t been in this situation for a long time, also because it bloody hurt!!!

I am half expecting an onslaught of blood to trickle down my legs.

prayers from childhood

i remember this prayer my dad taught us al as children and a couple of months ago, i was extremely proud of myself that i took is upon myself to translate it and know what i had been reciting all these years.

no point in reciting something u dont know what it means?
I hope i have dont a good job of the translation because i used the Quran to help me find similar words and deduce what my own words meant.

Here it goes:

Allahuma anta allahu rabbu rrauf rraheem
O God you are my God the compassionate lord the Most Merciful
Anta allahu arrahman arraheem
You are my god the Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Anta allahu al-Afeez, al-Mueez, al-Hayyu, al-Qayim, al- Qayimu
You are my god, the Preserver, the Honourer, the Living, the Eternal, the Sustainer
Alla kulli nafsi wa hawli bima kasabbat
The One who controls and surrounds every single soul
Wa hul bayni wa bayna, ma la takata lanabihi
Place a barrier between me and everything (sin) until it becomes to late for me to repent


I hope the translation is right is not tel me know where i ahve gone wrong...

Hello, is it me you are looking for....

Who is the marrying kind?

I have been raking my brains trying to find the answer to this one….
Is there such thing as a marrying kind and the not marrying kind?
When I was young, I used to have the notion that a fate worse than death was to grow to settle down and have children?

But how true is that notion to me.
I look at examples laid before me and I think….. hmmm
Take my parents for example; their marriage does nothing to inspire me about getting into the sanctity of marriage, the bond between husband and wife…
It doesn’t hold much for me when my nearest and dearest cant seem to hold it together.

Marriage is not tantamount to salvation! That is my view now, What with the examples I have before me, the rampant cheating, and jealousy, obsessive controlling behaviour that men (and women) tend to display what hopes do I have that I wouldn’t join the band wagon and make a mess of it myself.

They never tell you that life is hard o.

The role and impact of family life on children is not something I take lightly. It’s a responsibility that I must be able to live up to if not then I might as well not get involved in it….

Do I see a good husband for me?
Are you patient, … its me we are talking about and I am moody, impulsive and like to do my own thing, i am fun though, in as much as I am a stick in the mud, I like variety and change that is subtly introduced... I may withdraw into myself and I may need space. so may you. In life there are ups and downs, can we be patient with each other give ourselves the space and time needed. Can we support each other nurture each other, With God overlooking on us.. Can we communicate with each other. Can you be a good leader. and I mean a Leader, can you show direction.

It doesnt mean that in life mistakes are not made, but can you rise above the mistakes, dont dwell on it but learn from it and move on....

Are you good with finances? i am lady that likes to be told what
to do, but not dictated to...i have my own mind but as an assistant leader all decisions go through the leader and we think put ideas on the table and follow up with the best plan.. logic should always win through but sometimes let passion and instinct help along the way...

Can u listen: sometimes I talk and just want someone to listen, I am not looking for an opinion or seeking thoughts I just want you to listen to me. Can you deal with that, that I make my own descisions on things, I follow my heart and convinctions. Will I be able to listen to you as well, listen you you hear you out and leat you speak, dont judge but just listen.. we are all humans, perfection is never easy but we learn as we grow together

Can I trust you: this is very important for me, can I trust that you have my back regardless, can I trust that you are not a philandering so and so and that you are for me and only me as much as I am for you and only you. Can you trust me too, i am very loyal sort of person and i will fight till the very end, but i fight if there is reason to fight..I see the people and the examples laid before me, i dont want that, I want my own kind, The one in my heart, The one i tell my God,,, i want trust and openess..God being our overseer, I dont want bad thoughts or dem say this dem say that.. even if dem say.. the trust we have should always ride above that..

Do you have faith: I believe in my God and nothing that happens to me is a mistake but it’s the will of my God. Whatever, wherever my God is in control. Can u deal with that? I believe in one God, the God of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, Noah, Jesus, Mohammed. The God that was then and the same God that is now and the same God that will be forever. I believe that religion is about worshipping God and no one else.
I do not believe in the myth of intercession: expect that which God will allow, if God does allow
I believe in worshipping God according to the scripture and to nothing else.
I believe there is knowledge in all things and some good advice but the only thing I can rely on is the word of my God as noted in the scripture.
I believe my God is the only God and somehow, somewhere man has made things complicated for himself by adding as he chooses to the word of God.
I believe in God and all his prophets and messsengers and I choose not to make a distinction amongst them. So for me Jesus is the same as Noah, is the same as Mohammed is the same as Abraham. They were all Gods messengers. And that is enough for me.
I believe in the scriptures that were revealed: scriptures which provide guidance and light from God to help us find our way from darkness into Gods light.

God is important to me as is the survival and success of my soul.. that is not for you to feel obligated for but in some ways you play a part... as my leader will you set good examples for me to follow, for our children to follow, its not do as i say but lead by example...

My testimony is as thus: There is no other god but God, the Living , The Eternal, The Most Gracious, The Almighty.

I believe my life should revolve around my faith and worship of God not the other way round.
by right I am a simple person and that is what is in my heart.. simple as simple..



Do you see a good wife in me?
Its very easy be deluded and think that I have qualities that u desire ( all the pump and pagentry of the outside me is nothing compared to the inside me that i dont let anyone see) and also very much ignore the obvious, I can sometimes be a pain because i am a simple minded person...my heart is simple my thoughts are simple... buying me plantain chips is more worthy than buying me a gold necklace, helping me undo my hair is more worthy than buying me fancy dresses.
Dont get me wrong..i like fancy things but simple things mean more to me than flouncy overshows of affection.

1, I will not support anything that I myself do not believe in.... logic overides the day and Gods guidance rules the way..
2, I am moody and can be very impulsive
3, God will/should always come first
4, Once trust is gone there is nothing left for me
5, I like attention from my man… makes me feel like I am loved and wanted, but there is a fine line btw attention and obsessive controlling behaviour
6, I dont like stress at all. Stress being anything I cannae deal with , I am most likely to withdraw from the situation rather than see it through...
7, Gods will be done regardlless of anything in My life

I am not your typical run of the mill girl. I am FatsO ., I think differently, do differently, say differently..

Is this what you are looking for?