hunting..

i went to see another house yesterday it was just wonderful.. i loved it and i am afraid i have started to dream about it just like the first one i fell in love with and we didn't get.. this time lord i leave everything with you and i ask  for your help..
 people say whats for you will be for you and i accept that with gods help he CAN make things for you and make it right for you..
 so i guess i am asking let my wish be your will o lord..  am not sure which order is best let your will be my  wish.. as you are the one that inspires then it is equal in all tings..
 help  us please, we don't have much but we want a start  to secure for our  children..
  on a good note on going there the song  playing was glorious God by nathaniel bassey and on leaving i saw a rainbow and i prayed to God and asked him just like we are told the floods ravaged earth in the time of noah and the rainbow is a sign of  the stop of the rain.. i have read in the Quran  noahs ark  set foot on a location so i prayed of yesterday God let this be a  sign of a blessing home/location for me and my family and like noah bless it for us and help us to secure it and help us with it,,

Blessed is the name of God in any language or race,,

This is going on my mp3 list...

 so simple yet potent

O paalanhaare, nirgun aur nyaare - 2 

Oh nurturant Lord, beyond description and beyond all

Tumre bin hamra kaunon naahin 

Without you, we have no one

Humri uljhan suljhaao bhagwan 

Ease our difficulties, oh God

Tumre bin hamra kaunon naahin 

Without you, we have no one

Tumhe humka ho sambhaale 

You are our only supporter

Tumhe hamre rakhwaale 

You are our only protector

Tumre bin hamra kaunon naahin 

Without you, we have no one

--CHORUS-- 
Tumre bin hamra kaunon naahin 

Without you, we have no one

--FEMALE-- 
Tumre bin hamra kaunon naahin 

Without you, we have no one

Chanda mein tumhe to bhare ho chaandni 

It is you who has filled the moon with moonlight

Sooraj mein ujaala tumhe se 

The sun's brightness is from you

Yeh gagan hai magan, tumhe to diye ho isse taare 

The sky is content, you have given stars to it

Bhagwan, yeh jeevan tumhe na sanwaaroge 

God, if you don't adorn this life

To kya koi sanwaare 

Then who will adorn it?

O paalanhaare, nirgun aur nyaare 

Oh nurturant Lord, beyond description and beyond all

Tumre bin hamra kaunon naahin - 2 

Without you, we have no one

--MALE-- 
Jo suno to kahe Prabhuji hamri hai binti 

If you will listen, Lord, I will make a plea

Dukhi jan ko dheeraj do 

Give patience to sorrowful people

Haare nahin voh kabhi dukh se 

So that they will never give in to the sorrow

Tum nirbal ko raksha do 

Provide the powerless with protection

Reh paaye nirbal sukh se 

So that the powerless can remain happy

Bhakti ko shakti do 

Provide your disciples with strength

--CHORUS-- 
Bhakti ko shakti do 

Provide your disciples with strength

--MALE-- 
Jag ke jo swami ho, itni to araj suno 

Since you are the world's master, please hear this plea

Hai path mein andhiyaare 

There is darkness in our path

Dedo vardaan mein ujiyaare 

Provide us with blessed light

--CHORUS-- 
(O paalanhaare, nirgun aur nyaare 

Oh nurturant Lord, beyond description and beyond all

Tumre bin hamra kaunon naahin 

Without you, we have no one

Humri uljhan suljhaao bhagwan 

Ease our difficulties, oh God

Tumre bin hamra kaunon naahin) - 3 

Without you, we have no one

http://www.myhindilyrics.com/translation-Lagaan/O-Paalanhaare.html

anxiety

 i am up again with the anxieties of work not letting me go back to sleep.
 this week, i have in effect 16 hours to work.. and next week its 20 hours.. ho wi  will find the time to do this work is something else.
 i doubt i will be able to manage new claims and i have diaries i have to attend to..
 i dont know what to do.
 i  am slightly anxious as i know i get given allocation more and whenever i am off they pretend like they dont know and allocate me work when ordinarily  i should not get the work.
 the pretend to  forget.
 i didnt go for overtime this weekend ether because of the time i had and o could not commit to the  backwork of post that cones with overtime.

i ask of a healing Lord on behalf of my heart..

My Lord the boy is suffering again with some skin issue and i  dont know what to do..
 he seems susceptible o these things and i am not sure how to help him..
 not that i can help him but the doctors say that  it can take up to 12 weeks and we are just sitting on 6 weeks now.. it has just ravaged his whole trunk that i dont know if  there is a come back from this.
 i try to console myself with the story of Job who  we are told suffered ailments and sores and the  Quran does mention him and his prayer - anii masaniya dhuru, anta arham rahimin..
 the best of prayers  is that which one utters for themselves but i am not even sure the prayer of a mother for her child carrys  weight.
 but i will try  because if he suffers then i too am suffering..
i am his mother and i want to see him well, i dont want to see him  the way he is - he looks like an eyesore.. i dont know what  to do to help him so i beg of the most gracious.
 we dont know if it is viral or fungal.. we think its the viral one... the doctors  think so too and say there is no treatment because he does not show any sign of distress. they say it will go by itself

 he is starting a new phase in his life and to have this in this crazy world where he will be looked at and pointed at bothers me and makes me feel bad for him.
 i am asking of thee lord to help him  please if not for him then on my behalf as his mother asking that you please care for my son.. that is him you have given me and it is him that i have dedicated to you.
 it is him with this little voice that remembers alhamdulilahi rabil alamin.. it is him that shouts with glee  - thank you God for everything.
 it is him o lord of ,mine please help me help him help us..

Thank you God for everything...

I want to huff my chest but gloating is  not good.  I want to show my feathers and shout.. about for the mercy of god shout that he has helped me and i can see it .... i can smell it ... i can touch it it is within my grasp..oh my lord please help  me reach it... help me touch it ...help me own it ....help me secure it.. that dream of mine....that dream of my child's.... that thing.. that  thing.... that something ... that one of those  things.
I want to thank the most   gracious  to really thank him like ever before to thank  him like thanking and i say from my heart... thank you God  for everything.. i got the email that the  boy is accepted  for his  care.. thank you for looking after me for him for helping us and with thy grace he will grow and progress in righteousness under your care..

seeking God

we are nearly there oh lord..
we are nearly there..
and by thy grace we shall reach there..
with your help we can be there..
keep me right my lord keep me right..
keep me firm and  walking straight.
 help me to succeed help me to  soar.. help me to progress help me to fly.
 if anything it  is you..
it is with your grace and  by your will.
 i seek to thee o lord
 i come to thee
for surely with my Lord, the best will be

Help

There are days my spirit fails me and i have no strength or fight left. I just resign...right now is like one of them days..i seek refuge from God  to help me change my outlook..

money woes

when you eagerly await money to come into your account and keep checking everyday is not  a good sign.. lolol God  there i was getting a phone call friday saying i will get this money by monday and nothing has shown up... lolol  i am trying to make this months end  so we get closer to our goal.. by your grace it will show up tomorrow.. only by your grace..

Thank you God for everything

My lord, i have fasted and relied on thee for my sustainance. I am grateful and thankful that i saw it through even with the break within i saw it through.  When things were bleak you kept me going. Thank you  very much. I ask for your blessings  and favour  on my in this life and the hereafter

My lord says: implore Him and He will respond to me

Blessed is the name of God. The one who has all authority and kingship. Blessed is the name of my lord the creator of all things. He has created me and provides for me good provisions. Most exalted is my lord, the lord of the universe. He is the living and there is no God except He.I worship him and  submit to Him alone.... this minute, right now, before and forever in my life.
Let this be my call onto thee.. as before..just like Zechariah made a secret call onto thee o lord..... i too ask from thee -in this  life and the hereafter- that which i am longing for and as i ask from the most gracious lord i never despair. I never despair because my lord has been most merciful onto me because my lord has always looked after me and given onto me so i ask from the most gracious lord and i will never despair. God is the best provider, the only provider.

Guide me to thee o lord and keep me glorifying and worshiping  thee always.

Make it  easy for me to learn and  progress and help me to set a good example for my children.. help me to teach them how  to worship  you alone and  help me to provide for them. All advancement progress and bounties comes from thee and thee alone. We ask for our own house with a garden..we ask for your care and blessings on us always we ask from the most gracious lord  the best provider. Help me to advance in this life and the hereafter and help me to be better and better in all things righteousness. Most  exalted is God the lord of the universe

Dear Lord i ask of thee

Dear Lord,
Here i am. I trust in you
You  are my God and my life is  in your hands.
You know my heart
You know my worries
Only you know the things that makes me afraid
Dear Lord, With your mighty hands please supply my needs and wants
As you fed the thousands  and healed the sick and calmed the storms and raised the dead
So keep me in the palm of your hands O lord my God.
Thy name be praised and exalted always for thou art the best provider

ramadan 2017

I owe 2 days fasting.. I have  been ill and I have to take medication. its actually 6 days.. had  tonsillitis and had to take medication.

 the medication course was 10 days but i am better now and i will just juggle as i would as i just want to get back to fasting - more for my psychological benefit than anything..
 i deliberated on taking the medication dry as i was struggling with my conscience as to whether this was classified as food or drink.. but in all honesty i don't know as there is no  reference.

 but one thing i do know is that the scripture has something like if you are travelling or ill then you can substitute the number of days for fasting for other days so in retrospect there is no great conscientious debate just substitute  the number for other days..

 but it is a psychological thing in which we  as those trying to be  worship feel or don't feel whole unless we are actually partaking in the fasting during the  month of ramadan itself.. but as with everything only God knows our utmost intentions and only he can judge

In the name of God

at this stage Lord,
 it is for me to loose it but i come to thee  asking that you set me upon a road and upon an path that  is secure.
 as I have asked  of you from my heart
I am making to you a secret call  - a call from my heart that only you know.
( i remember the arabic - idh nada rabahu nidhan khafiya ( not written properly but as i sound it in my head)
 you know what it is that  i long for.... what my heart yearns for
 Only you know what i need to help me to establish myself and secure a future for my children and this future and establishment  can only be achieved with thee..
 so in everything and in all things i come to thee O Lord seeking thy help.
 seeking from thee and thee only
 help me please lord help me to  do this and show me that it can be done
 stave my hunger lord.... stave my  lust and help me to achieve what i have been asking from thee
 Help me Lord help me please.
in this month  right at this day the 6th June 2017 let this be the key - the beginning that unlocks for me in the right and correct manner, that sets me off perfectly - in thy God is my beginning and in thy name God is my journey  so help me please Lord help me.

 for all praise is yours all authority kingship and glory in this like and the hereafter be thou Glorified my Lord.

I walk to my Lord the best Provider..

I walk the path of the lord the same familiar route that leads me to thee.
I walk the same road as before seeking thy mercy and comforts
I  walk the road that I have walked before  leading to my creator and provider
 My Lord i seek they blessing and favour on me to establish me on the path of success and progress in this life and the hereafter.
I seek they blessing and favour on my soul to establish me on the path of success and progress in this life and the hereafter
I seek thy blessings and favour my Lord upon me to establish me in success and progress in this life and the hereafter.
I ask of thee in the light  of the they Greatness and Mercy.
I ask from a Most Gracious Lord , My God of old and of now \and evermore
I ask knowing that my obligations are lacking, My attention is panning but i ask nonetheless confident of my Lords blessings upon me of before and confident of my Lords forgiveness.
 yesterday  i read this particular verse 38:35 which is a request of Solomon.
 i don't seek riches of  enormous proportion i don't seek power  but i seek of my own from my Lord that which i will be happy and satisfied  with not to be oppressed  or subdued by anyone  or anything.
in the light of the scripture my request of this time and this very instance is
 My Lord Forgive me and grant me from thee Success and progress in this life and the hereafter. Indeed you are the Bestower.

For all Praise is yours, All authority and Kingship, in this life and forever, may your name be exalted always.

i ask of thee and from thee o Lord

blessed be the name of God in all things may his holy name be praised and exalted always.

 dear lord i am hungry very hungry for progress and success.
 very much often i feel i am being overlooked and i have tried to be patient with my circumstances and with my lot..  very much often i want to progress and i am either afraid to reach for fear that i am being greedy.
but dear lord i am hungry for success and progress.
 i too want my own house - that house with a garden and stairs and 2 bathrooms
 i too want that job with increased earnings
 i too want that success of  mind and success associated with  a generous lord.
 i too want that other child that  i think will make my family complete
 success only comes with thy approval and true success after all is  everlasting happiness at thee.
 i know that and i try to stave my hunger for worldly things because i tell myself that i want  is  what is at hand with thee. and i do i really do.
 i want to worship you and praise you and i want my soul to be accepted by you.
 at the same time i want some "tings" of this world - even though i know they don't last  and are irrelevant in the long run.
 can i reconcile the two?
 this is my dilemma.
 all the money in the world cannot buy me everlasting peace or make me feel rich inside
 all the houses and the best accommodation in the world cannot compare to the notion of paradise
 but yet i try but i am wanting the two.
 is this possible..
 i say yes it is
 why
 because my God who is in control can do and undo
my God who  has all sovereignty  can make it come true.
 look at job he suffered a  long time and in the end God blesses him more
look at David and Solomon and their riches that God bestowed on them and yet they were counted on as his righteous servants
so it is possible to have some of this world and  more of the hereafter because God can make it possible.
i put you lord before everything i do - i try to put you at the forefront and afterthought of my every action and deed - rightly or wrongly they may be -  i come to you with my everything..
 so as i come to you to say  and confess what i feel is the unsay-able  - even though i feel ungrateful and greedy -  i come to you knowing you as my Lord are a Lord that makes everything all right.
 you are a lord that has taken care of me and provided for me - and by thy grace will always take care of me and provide for me.
whilst i accept that your laws and designs  in our lives i firmly believe that you are a God of miracles  and you can do and undo as you see fit.
 so i ask of thee right now in this very instance for your grace upon me to usher in for me good fortune, greatness, success, progress and goodness in this life and the hereafter - to provide for me your blessings  and provisions in this life and hereafter. i ask  from a Most Gracious Lord  in whose hands is all control and authority of everything and anything. I ask from the Most Gracious Lord who has seen me from infancy and raised me into adulthood. i ask from the Most Gracious Lord who reigns supreme and has decisive judgement in everything and all things. I ask from the Most Gracious Lord who is and has been and will always be King of my life and soul. I ask from the Most Gracious Lord as i know no other to ask.

For all praise if yours
 all authority kingship and Glory
in this life and the hereafter
 there s no other God but thee
Be thou Glorified Most Gracous Lord.