i ask of thee and from thee o Lord

blessed be the name of God in all things may his holy name be praised and exalted always.

 dear lord i am hungry very hungry for progress and success.
 very much often i feel i am being overlooked and i have tried to be patient with my circumstances and with my lot..  very much often i want to progress and i am either afraid to reach for fear that i am being greedy.
but dear lord i am hungry for success and progress.
 i too want my own house - that house with a garden and stairs and 2 bathrooms
 i too want that job with increased earnings
 i too want that success of  mind and success associated with  a generous lord.
 i too want that other child that  i think will make my family complete
 success only comes with thy approval and true success after all is  everlasting happiness at thee.
 i know that and i try to stave my hunger for worldly things because i tell myself that i want  is  what is at hand with thee. and i do i really do.
 i want to worship you and praise you and i want my soul to be accepted by you.
 at the same time i want some "tings" of this world - even though i know they don't last  and are irrelevant in the long run.
 can i reconcile the two?
 this is my dilemma.
 all the money in the world cannot buy me everlasting peace or make me feel rich inside
 all the houses and the best accommodation in the world cannot compare to the notion of paradise
 but yet i try but i am wanting the two.
 is this possible..
 i say yes it is
 why
 because my God who is in control can do and undo
my God who  has all sovereignty  can make it come true.
 look at job he suffered a  long time and in the end God blesses him more
look at David and Solomon and their riches that God bestowed on them and yet they were counted on as his righteous servants
so it is possible to have some of this world and  more of the hereafter because God can make it possible.
i put you lord before everything i do - i try to put you at the forefront and afterthought of my every action and deed - rightly or wrongly they may be -  i come to you with my everything..
 so as i come to you to say  and confess what i feel is the unsay-able  - even though i feel ungrateful and greedy -  i come to you knowing you as my Lord are a Lord that makes everything all right.
 you are a lord that has taken care of me and provided for me - and by thy grace will always take care of me and provide for me.
whilst i accept that your laws and designs  in our lives i firmly believe that you are a God of miracles  and you can do and undo as you see fit.
 so i ask of thee right now in this very instance for your grace upon me to usher in for me good fortune, greatness, success, progress and goodness in this life and the hereafter - to provide for me your blessings  and provisions in this life and hereafter. i ask  from a Most Gracious Lord  in whose hands is all control and authority of everything and anything. I ask from the Most Gracious Lord who has seen me from infancy and raised me into adulthood. i ask from the Most Gracious Lord who reigns supreme and has decisive judgement in everything and all things. I ask from the Most Gracious Lord who is and has been and will always be King of my life and soul. I ask from the Most Gracious Lord as i know no other to ask.

For all praise if yours
 all authority kingship and Glory
in this life and the hereafter
 there s no other God but thee
Be thou Glorified Most Gracous Lord.