Dear lord I ask of thee please do not turn me away emptyhanded..

Blessed art thou o lord for you alone reign supreme in my life and in all the heavens and earth.
I give praise and glory to thee for all your kindess and mercy that you shower upon me.
My life and fate are in thy capable hands as I beg of thee o lord to continually guide me to thee that I may be one of those who are fortunate enough to be restored and sustained by thy grace.
Keep me praising thee lord keep me in worship to thee and let me always glorify and honour thy great name.
Most gracious lord keep me focused in thy worship, night and day and let my heart be singing of thy praise.
Grant me your support, help, assistance, blessings in this life and the next.. Forgive me my lord and accept my repentance for my sins of which are many many many ..sins of ommision and commision ..sins that are outward and inward.. Keep me devoted to thee always lord help me Lord help me achieve progress in faith; in life; in work; in family; in circumstances; in the hereafter.. And draw me closer to you help me to worship you better. I ask the same for my children please lord..in this crazy times that we are only your special grace can help them..keep them close to you please do not let them linger before they find you right from now as they are young let them know you, know of you,be aware of you, love you,worship you..
Thy great name be praised and magnified always...
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Ma testimony

Sorry folks its in quranic arabic language ( that is what strikes a chord with me)

Ma testimony: Llahu ahad, Llahu samad. Lam ya lid wa lam yu lad. Wa lam ya kun lahu kufuwan ahad.
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better daughter

the past days Lord i have said that i would come here to lament at how my latest test is going or not going.
 I said i would come before thee Lord using this avenue as my  escape to complain to you about my predicament  and  the simmering kettle that is the  sometimes short-fused relationship between me and my parents.
 but i find it hard to complain to thee Lord because  - of the good books i have read - there is always the part be kind and gentle with your parents,  but i ask myself the question how easy is this to be especially when they so know the  buttons to press to aggravate you.
 if it were another human being one would not suffer the same treatment from them but because they are your parents one has to suffer.
 i have asked thee o lord to help me to be a better daughter, to give me the patience that is required to deal with my parents especially when they are goading me to a response and a response from me( emotionally challenged) will be tempestuous at best..

 a couple of observations i make though are thus
 parents forget that their children too will become adults one day
 parents think that their children will always look at them/their actions through the eyes of childhood rather than the eyes of an adult -
parents should accept their  their actions  to their children in childhood will always be scrutinized once the children are adults
 for example - when we were children we got given what we got given - if we didn't like it or made a fuss about it  - it got taken away and we were beaten.. now what should be our response if our parents are behaving "childish" because they got given something and they don't like it???
As a child we didn't have a choice in what we were given , we were told to be grateful for the little we had, yet parents  don't sometimes want to accept what they have been given.. what should be the response to that.
Dear Lord, i have always said and maintain that i dont understand your laws/life  but i ask that you help me  live life without breaking too many laws of yours..
 i do want to be a better daughter but i dont know how.
 my relationship with my parents is blighted by how i was treated as a child and how i am still treated as a child - some  pent up feelings of how i am being the "fall guy" and  overlooked in favour of my other siblings..
 but what do i know.. my feelings may or may not be genuine  it may  or may not be even valid - it is just the way i am looking at the situation,
In spite and despite Lord - help me to please be a better  daughter and to have  the patience and tolerance to be able to deal with my parents..

thank you

most gracious.. just a simple thank you for everything you do in my life.. for my joys, my ups and downs, for my children and those i care for.
 just a simple thank you to the one in whose hand all things are possible.

Psalm 25 - wonderful prose of prayer - In thee O lord i put my trust, in Thee i lay my hopes

In you, Lord my God,
    I put my trust.

2 I trust in you;
    do not let me be put to shame,
    nor let my enemies triumph over me.
3 No one who hopes in you
    will ever be put to shame,
but shame will come on those
    who are treacherous without cause.

4 Show me your ways, Lord,
    teach me your paths.
5 Guide me in your truth and teach me,
    for you are God my Savior,
    and my hope is in you all day long.
6 Remember, Lord, your great mercy and love,
    for they are from of old.
7 Do not remember the sins of my youth
    and my rebellious ways;
according to your love remember me,
    for you, Lord, are good.

8 Good and upright is the Lord;
    therefore he instructs sinners in his ways.
9 He guides the humble in what is right
    and teaches them his way.
10 All the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful
    toward those who keep the demands of his covenant.
11 For the sake of your name, Lord,
    forgive my iniquity, though it is great.

12 Who, then, are those who fear the Lord?
    He will instruct them in the ways they should choose.[b]
13 They will spend their days in prosperity,
    and their descendants will inherit the land.
14 The Lord confides in those who fear him;
    he makes his covenant known to them.
15 My eyes are ever on the Lord,
    for only he will release my feet from the snare.

16 Turn to me and be gracious to me,
    for I am lonely and afflicted.
17 Relieve the troubles of my heart
    and free me from my anguish.
18 Look on my affliction and my distress
    and take away all my sins.
19 See how numerous are my enemies
    and how fiercely they hate me!

20 Guard my life and rescue me;
    do not let me be put to shame,
    for I take refuge in you.
21 May integrity and uprightness protect me,
    because my hope, Lord,[c] is in you.

psalm 86 - NIV - slightly amended for me

Hear me, Lord, and answer me, for I am poor and needy.

Guard my life, for I am faithful to you; save me Lord for I trust in you.
You are my God; have mercy on me, Lord, for I call to you all day long.
Bring joy to me, Lord, for I put my trust in you.

You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you.
Hear my prayer, Lord; listen to my cry for mercy.
When I am in distress, I call to you, because you alone can answer me.

There is none like you, Lord; no deeds can compare with yours.
All the nations you have made will come and worship before you,

 Lord; they will bring glory to your name.
For you are great and do marvelous deeds; you alone are God.

 Teach me your way, Lord, that I may rely on your faithfulness;
Give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. 

I will praise you, Lord my God, with all my heart;

I will glorify your name forever. For great is your love toward me;

you have delivered me from the depths, from the realm of the dead.

 Arrogant foes are attacking me, The world is deceiving me O God;

They have no regard for you. But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness. Turn to me and have mercy on me; show your strength in behalf of me - one who wants to worship and serve you; save me, because I want to serve you
Give me a sign of your goodness, that my enemies may see it and be put to shame, for you, Lord, have helped me and comforted me.

help

i need strenght from thee Lord, please come to my rescue..
please help me
 i need patience and strenght, help me pls

still emotional

 i am still having emotional days my Lord and i dont know how to move away from them.
 some hours are very good and some are just awful.
Be thou closer and nearer to me Lord and see me through this tough time

Tough

It is tough this morning too lord, I can't seem to shake off this feeling of despair..
Help me pls help me
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Strugling

Today was a tough day for me emotionally my lord.. I struggled to keep it together since the weekend as I was hovering on the edge of tearful downpour. So manythings get me down lord I complain to you and I seek redress from you with my emotional outbursts looking for what I call fast fixes and immediate action..
like the boys incessant runny nose and cough.. He started to scratch. The back of his head- for a moment thought it was lice but I didn't think could be- that got me down cos I am telling myself I could not be looking after him well enough if he is falling sick..then today I went into city to get his hair cut he fell asleep and the girl was wide awake with tears. Made things difficult for me but we managed to get him to the shop and the shop wasn't open despite the time saying they should and I already paid for parking so we had to come back.. That got me down even further lord...
But all in all we found another place that I am happy with and the boy sat by himself to get his hair cut.. So this I take my lord as my blessing for the day.
Thank you God for everything, even through my darkness thank you that I can hold my head and see the light thank you..
I am not there hundred percent but I am getting there.
I am reminded of this song:
Abide with me fast fall the eventide
The darkness deepens lord with me abide
Who like thyself my guide and stay shall be
Through Rain or sunshine Lord abide with me..
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Early morning Confession

I come to thee o Lord my God to make a confession.
I come to thee to seek help.
For whatever reason since the birth of AM I am now being increasingly thinking of death. It occupies my mind and invades my thought. It is some sort of morbid fascination that I take interest in it.
Maybe it's because with the new addition I am questioning my purpose on earth and my longings to see my children grow up to help them in whatever way I can in future God willing.. Or maybe it's because it is approaching me I don't know.
I find myself being curious about it like I am sort of inviting it so to say.
It could also be my subconscious because I remember my friend Wajid ( loosely read my palm and maybe mentioned a certain age 35 I would die.. I have kept this in my mind always being afraid of reaching this age?? Now now I am not overtly supersticious but I am known to let my mind suggest superstitious thoughts I know and accept that only God knows our begining and end.. No one can tell future unless ofcourse it is with Gods approval.) Anyway I have been considering this for some time now and to not let this feeling get a hold on me and have any power over me I write it down and present it to thee Lord- not that thou does not already know what goes through my mind..

On another matter Lord, I feel thy spirit departing from me and I ask that you never let this happen. Yes I do not have motivation and zeal to want to do anything because I am tired with children looking after and I feel I have no purpose because I do not have a routine. But lord please let your spirit never depart from me.. Keep close to me forever in this life and hereafter..
It could be that I am bringing this on myself with the mostly negative thoughts that is consuming me but nevertheless Lord help me clear them and positify my mind and thoughts..
This ramadan I am asking a lot from thee: a house of my own,mobility,job and financial security,peace of mind, good health and wellbeing of me and children, spiritual growth and advancement in worship,more late night praise,more to save,taking away negativeness in my life,more charitable, less sinful thoughts,, job advancemenrt,spiritual help and guidance, help with finding out truth and doing something with it, a lenghthy list I have Lord that I will be topping up as I remember...
I have been waylaid in my thoughts Lord forgive me.. The original topic was to ask your spirit not depart from me. And keeping me forever within the expance and inclusion of your guidance and Mercy.
A thought occured to me the other day.. God you are my provider, whatever it be that I am asking for I come to you wether it be good or bad I am asking for I come to you because only you can provide and grant me what I ask.m but I know you are not a bad God and do not do mischief or evil... that is a fact for me, but I let my emotions get away with me in asking out of negative thoughts that have manifested in my mind. I would prefer not to engage in this habit not having negative thoughts so please help me God Help me please.. But all in all I have no one to run to but thee in my life in any life..

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Thank You

Oba nla. You honour me iin a way I didn't expect with the letter that has come to me this morning...thank you very much for the unexpected mercy
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3 months on

with today included it symbolises that you are 3 months old or 93 days which ever way you look at it.
you are a joy to behold.
My Love, My heart,
I love you never forget that,
I may be strict, I may be firm  but by Gods Grace I will love you forever.
 never ever forget that - that i love you.
 I wanted you, i asked for you, i prayed for you and God gave me  you.
 God bless you my dear, guide and protect you always.
 As a woman - you will have Gods special blessing and presence in your heart, in your soul.
You will listen to God and he will take care of you - He will protect you, He will shield you and watch over you.
Your birth is one of the happiest times of my life
Happy 3 months my dear

supplication - what does it mean

the last couple of weeks a supplication that i remember my dad reciting came to my mind. and i just called him to ask what the meaning was (  i have tried to get the meaning myself from the quran and it is still a working progress - because with intonation( yoruba dilect) i may have lost some of the correct words and i am still trying to get to it) but he said it was a ismiliasam - i dont know what that means by the way - he says that only God knows what it means - i guess he means the 5 letters starting the dua - kaf, ha  ya ain sad..
 but here it goes - if anyone ever manages to remember the meaning let me know please..

kaf ha ya sin sad
jalazin waosalin walin jazman kastastin aatin
matiatayatin atin
Heefee ajubu lailaha illa lahu naratin fasta naratin tubu
subu
qudusu
rabbu malaikatu warhu alal arshi istawa wa la maliki istawa
ladafi bima gala wa la maliu bima hata
yafalu man yuridu fi mulkihi wa yan kufi alqihi man yashau wa huwa ala kuli shayin kadir..

 some parts are said twice as i remember my dad saying it

 he made me laugh  he says do not recite this if you are on a plane.. but do it whilst sitting down.. lolol

 this is how i remember it being said -

Worried

Dear Lord,
For the last week my boy has been crying when I go to drop him at the minders. This is unlike him because he loves to go there at all other times.
Just a month ago when I went to drop him, he couldn't run away from me fast enough as he walked fast to the door and I remember I was a bit hurt but proclaimed that's my little boy grown up, he is cutting the chord and I accepted it.
Yes he used to be the only young un with the minder. And now there is another child there. But he still loved it up until a week/two ago and this coincided with him having a bad cold with high fever. Today he was crying forcibly as he didn't want me to go and I don't like that because he will be in distress. Anyways God the ever imaginative mind that I have is asking me why is he now crying to go there. God you are my help and my only trust and I keep my son under your special care and protection, please I cannot look after him like you can, infact you are the one that looks after him, I am just pretending to.. Please I leave him in your care and guidance. His development his welfare, his guidance and his sustainance all with Thee. Help me to soothe him, help me to understand him and him me. Help me to lay and show him the best examples. Help me with him oh Lord help me with him
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