Sunday, 17 August 2014

better daughter

the past days Lord i have said that i would come here to lament at how my latest test is going or not going.
 I said i would come before thee Lord using this avenue as my  escape to complain to you about my predicament  and  the simmering kettle that is the  sometimes short-fused relationship between me and my parents.
 but i find it hard to complain to thee Lord because  - of the good books i have read - there is always the part be kind and gentle with your parents,  but i ask myself the question how easy is this to be especially when they so know the  buttons to press to aggravate you.
 if it were another human being one would not suffer the same treatment from them but because they are your parents one has to suffer.
 i have asked thee o lord to help me to be a better daughter, to give me the patience that is required to deal with my parents especially when they are goading me to a response and a response from me( emotionally challenged) will be tempestuous at best..

 a couple of observations i make though are thus
 parents forget that their children too will become adults one day
 parents think that their children will always look at them/their actions through the eyes of childhood rather than the eyes of an adult -
parents should accept their  their actions  to their children in childhood will always be scrutinized once the children are adults
 for example - when we were children we got given what we got given - if we didn't like it or made a fuss about it  - it got taken away and we were beaten.. now what should be our response if our parents are behaving "childish" because they got given something and they don't like it???
As a child we didn't have a choice in what we were given , we were told to be grateful for the little we had, yet parents  don't sometimes want to accept what they have been given.. what should be the response to that.
Dear Lord, i have always said and maintain that i dont understand your laws/life  but i ask that you help me  live life without breaking too many laws of yours..
 i do want to be a better daughter but i dont know how.
 my relationship with my parents is blighted by how i was treated as a child and how i am still treated as a child - some  pent up feelings of how i am being the "fall guy" and  overlooked in favour of my other siblings..
 but what do i know.. my feelings may or may not be genuine  it may  or may not be even valid - it is just the way i am looking at the situation,
In spite and despite Lord - help me to please be a better  daughter and to have  the patience and tolerance to be able to deal with my parents..


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