help is needed from the as always My Lord

i need ur help Mg totake hold of me,
to guide me and to inspire me
i meed ur help Mg to support me
in all things right, good and just
i need ur help Mg to direct me
in all things right, good and just

let me not alone dear Lord
lest i go astray....

in my every day, eveey thought every wish and every prayer
let me forever say - be thou glorified Most Gracious Lord.

simples

#My Lord, allow me to be appreciative of th eblessing that you have bestowed upon me and to do the righteous works that pleases thee.
Admit me by thy mercy into the company of thy righteous servants.
Admit me a honororable admitance and let me depart a honorable depature and grant me from thee a powerful support.

c'est complique

i seek your forgiveness and pardon most gracious... over this matter - if i have overlooked and not understood properly.
i seek your pardon if i hve done as my mind wanted and i ask of thee to help me to do better in future.

i sek your help and assiatance over this matter Mg and i seek refuge with thee....

c'est complique - this is my plight this evening..

you have given me and i am grateful, je n'est cest pas comment dire

MG we need your help

inspiration, tolerance and understanding

i say it now and i say it again,
THANKS IS DUE TO THEE MG FOR ALL YOUR INSPIRATION AND GUIDANCE.

when i feel that i am loosing my way - that i am loosing grip with the most important thing in my life - God , i find renewed strenght and inspiration in the most unlikely places.

I remember what i wrote to someone back in 2007 - i dont know why i was rummaging through my sent mail, but i just went there and i found this email - when reading it - i thought this was someone else - this cannot be me, but it was and is me. that determination that i had is gw my strenght and gw will inspire me to do the right things at all times in all circumstances

-------------start---------
I have contemplated writing to you but i had no real humph to do so but i am hoping at least you can help me by shedding some light on issues bothering me. I dont know why it is taking me long to do.

My first issue has to do with mind wandering during prayer. how do i combat this issue. I am asking God for forgiveness and help to keep my mind from wondering to silly things and to keep some crazy voices in my head at bay so as to allow me say my prayers. I dont mind if the mind wonders at other times, but not during prayers, if you have experienced this before what do you suggest. i am trying to keep an open mind during prayers but my crazy mind just wonders everywhwre. i have tried praying in a quiet room, so that the tv, or people noice dont affect or distract me. can you advise me pls.

the second issue at the moment is a long standing one. basically, i wanted to marry a lovely young man, who i loved deeply but i kept holding back because of my faith. i wanted to make sure that we both belived in god and in God only and when i was asking him he would say yes he did. he is christian.
When i took the courage to ask if he only believed in God only and that when he prayed does he pray to God directly then i fully knew the intentions in his mind. I stayed with him still hoping for a miracle that maybe we have cross wires somewhere and that maybe a miracle will happen becasue i did love him and i believed he did me. We even called the whole thing off but somehow we got back together. He does not mind to marry me as a muslin and he says he will allow me practice as a muslim, but i am reluctant to marry him because when he prays he prays in the name of jesus, and he has said he cannot pray in the name of God , the Creator, the Magnificient.
While still hanging in Limbo, he decded to give me an ultimatum and i did not fight his choice because it was the right thing to do( i was more cowardly to do it. but As God willed it, it happened that we split for goood as we both had to state our intentions fully) I delibrated over matters much and i decided that my relationship with God is much more important to me than any relationship with him or with any one person. but i have to admit that it is very hard moving on as i know that i do love him, but God has done so much more for me that I cannot forsake God for anyone. In a way i have always had suspicions from young that I may find myself in this situation. now i am not regretting my actions but if i am truthful i am finding it hard to move on because i still have feelings for him.
I have tried in so many ways to explain to him the beauty in God the beauty and the simplication in worshiping God alone, but he will not listen. Though he says he does listen to me, his mind is closed on the matter and i am aware of that.
So my situation, is how do i move on and be strong in heart.
I try to read the quran to affirm my spirit and i try to pray to God to give me strenght, but i still cry. I understand that i am human and the loss of what i thought was dear will cause me to grieve. the crying is much much much less as the year goes by but at times when i remember i still do.....
how can i fully detatch myself from this person???

-------------End------------

God be praised and magnified always, in my life, in my heart, in my thoughts, in my mind - whatever my circumstances Lord, keep me praising thee always.

On to another issue -

friday night was a strange night for me.
i went to see prince of persia and whilst the enthusiasm for playing and fooling around childishly left me early enough as my playmate didnt want to play - i was rather plunged into a melancholy mood and dispair - the movie was ok - not too great - but some interesting messages crept up in my mind and this reduced me to tears.

if i could turn back the hands of time - would i change anything?

this is the million dollar question that does not have a straight answer.

I would love to say yes and say that i wish that i was forever faithful to God all the years of growing up - that i was firm of mind and intentions, that i would not be so easily mislead by peer pressure, that i was devoted to God both in words,in acions and deeds.

at the same time, i will say no, because i know that my circumstances have helped in making me realise my devotion to God, have shaped me to accept what i feel to be true, and has helped me to become the better person/soul that i have always wanted to be.

and at the though of my life and past mistakes - and at the present thought of knowing that slowly i may be slipping away from my nightly devotions, i plunged into despair and i was crying. God dont let me go, Hold on to me forever and dont let me go, dont let the devil take control of me, dont let him succeed, keep me in thy service always, forever praising thee, God dont let me go. this is what was in my head all evening long back to the house.

it was weird, i was sad and i was distraught, and i forgot somethng Lord, my playmate that was with me, i didnt talk to him.

even that night when he wanted to talk to me, i didnt know what to say to him, to tell him that my mood although initially had something to do with him, had in actual fact nothing to do with him at all.
but i was able to talk and for the first time ever i said it out loud - that crazy dream which still haunted me, that dream that made me realise that i have to fight for my soul - with all heart and intention - that i have to deserve that place in paradise - that all the talking in the world is nothing compared with the intention and actions that follows it up. i told him -

help me to understand him and help him to understand me - this prayer i asked of thee O lord, and that night you made me realise that understanding isnt just by inspiration alone - it is by sharing our fears, hopes and aspirations. it is by communication.

i am not the best communicator my Lord, so please help me....
as with moses who asked of thee, " untie a knot from my speech that they may understand me" - or somethings to that effect.

i also learnt an big big lesson - Tolerance - and what it really means.
for me tolerance is - overlooking that which i dont necesarily understand or agree with. We are not the same, we can never be, our culture is not the same, our language is not the same, our up-bringing is not the same, our generations are not the same, there is about a good 9 years difference -

tolerance is knowing and accepting this fact - that there are some actions/behaviour that he may exhibit that i dont understand/ or cannot rationalise because i think they are weird but likewise there are some actions/behaviour that i may exhibit that he may not understand or be able to rationalise either.

tolerance is knowing to ask of thee my Lord, help us to understand each other - have patience with each other, support each other.

tolerance is knowing not to get upset when i cannot rationalise a behaviour or action, it is understanding that in these differences lies a strenght that with patience is revealed -

My Lord, in may things, i am not of strong mind, in many issues I dont know about life and i am very naive and trusting to my own detriment - but trusting in thee is not a misfortune, holding onto thee is not a calamity and it can never be.

So my Lord, i trust in thee wholly and i seek your support and assistance.

Mg i am grateful for every mercy, every guidance, every inspiration and every provision that you have allowed me and afforded me. I am thankful for every kindness and support that you show me. and I pray Mg that you continue this on me always - in this life and in the hereafter.

for all praise is yours, all authority, Kingship and Gloy, in this life and in the hereafter - Be thou Glorified Most Gracious Lord.

Priorities

Life is all about choices, "what to do", "how do i do", "what to say", "when to say" bla bla bla

choices - in my view is about making priorities, those things that are important to you, nourishing and developing people, interests that are dear to you.

most important priority is God, i reckon this should be the same for everybody else - establishing contact regularly, trying to be the best that you can be for God, for your soul and for the hereafter.
then i reckon family comes next - your loved ones, making time to know them, spend time with them, be there for them,
then i reckon life - this is all about your interests, your passions, living life, enjoying God's bounties.

choices differs, priorities differs......
so what to do when you cant reconcile choices and priorities??

i reckon, that there is no such thing as this, because its is all about tolerance, understanding that what is high on your list may not necessarily be high on another persons list - likewise what you consider to be important may be easily dismissed by another.

but then again i reckon that there needs to be an overhanging balance - or a give way point - for , which is common ground - priorities need to be within range of themselves - however the order of grouping may be different - but not tooooo different.

this life is weird MG, i wont lie - trying to understand it and make sense of it whilst at the same time, being true to myself, to thee... i guess as frank sinatra sings it - " Thats Life!!

MG

MG so many things are runing through my mind, some amplified, some stark realites and some a figment of situaitons.
in all circumstances Lord, keep me tied to thee always.

Nothing but it is still something

i guess in life there are 3 ways to look a situation.
There is my way
There is your way ... and
There is the way it is.

as such there are 3 ways to describe an activity

there is getting to know you
there is nothing

and there is nothing but getting to know you.

comme si comme sa.

then again in life it is not about my way, or your way... it is about the way it is.
the way it is is the fairest amongst all. it is the truth tht we must all strive to acknowledge and accept wether we like it or not...
Truth is reality and accepting reality is being in the present.

Subbuhum Quddusun - All glory be to the Most High Lord

Subbuhun Quddusun
Rabbul Malaikatu wa ruhu Alaa -Al-Arshi Istawa
La dafi 'a lima qada wa la mani'a lima a'taa
Yaf'allu man yuridu fi mulkihi
Wa yahkumu fi khalqihi bima yashau
Wa huwa ala kulli shayin Qadir.

Most Glorious The Holiest
Lord of the angels and the spirit - Who is firmly established in His Throne
No one hinders what You(God) have decreed and no one prevents what You(God) give
You (God) do what You(God) will in Your dominion and You(God) rule Your creation with whatever You(God) will. You (God) are Omnipotent.

this is what is on my lips tonght...
Most Exalted are You my Lord - the one true God, there is no other God but Thee. Be thou glofiied Most Gracious Lord.

my trust is in thee

MG,
in amidst the crazy events of today, i can see a blessing.
and i am reminded of solomons prayer - my lord, allow me to be appreciative of the blessings that you have bestowed on me and to do the righteous works that pleases thee. Admit us by thy mercy into the company of your righteous servants
i am truly grateful for monsieur, my lord, i was touched by his email of kind words to strenghten my spirit - i did not expect that - it made me proud and glad for the leader that you have made him and given me.

in some ways it also makes me sad, because i want to be with him i want to be his wife, i want us to live together but i dont know how/when this will come about

Yes my lord, it scares me but i have said that i am willing to give it all up and go away to be with him, to live under your guidance with peace and security.
but my greatest fear is that i dont want to be a financial obligation to him.
I am already a financial obligation to myself through my wrong actions but thanfully and with your help i am slowly removing myself from that.

remember God, many a times have i asked you crying to thee, in my times of despair - to remove me from this place, i have asked thee to give me an escape, and in some ways you have provided me with it, but i cant see the window that is open for me.

i guess Lord it is patience - and madamme tutu knows that she is very impatient - but by thy grace will learn the patience.

tonight my lord, my praise goes to thee as always - more than ever - for i am grateful for your support and help and guidance. and i ask for thy forgiveness, ease in time of difficulty, patience, determination to do that which must be done - to do the right thing -
i ask for us your support, and help and assistane, your blessings and direction - to make things easy for us, to guide us and keep our family together in thy path.

i am going to bed MG, as always my trust is in thee - Most Gracious, Exalted Lord.

For all praise is yours, All Authority, Kingship and Glory. In this life and in the hereafter, Be thou Glorified Most Gracious Lord.

accdnt

it is very easy to forget that God is in control.
When bad things happen or things we wished wouldn't happen, happen, the mind amplifies the situation
You get a flash in ur mind as if you can time rewind and do things differently.
You think if I hadn't done this then maybe this would not have happened. But we forget who is in real charge.
You think maybe that there is this force is out to get me maybe this that that that.but in my case God willing it wiil be ok with no adverse effects, no claims against me now or in future.

I could lie and deny fault, but that is not what the scripture teaches me or what God guides me to. I am at fault yes I accept and agree, should they claim fraudulently then it is for their own soul and judgement rests with God on this.
God knows what I dont knowand why the accident occured, of that I am clear.
What matters most is that I maintaiin righteousness annd serve God as best as I can.
Adversly its my claim history and its funny cos I will renew it next month. Soo in a way I know this was meant to happen, gw it will be well.

Monsieur

MG thank you for Monsieur.
that is the thought on my lips this evening
This is the thanks in my heart for thee O Lord this Night.
Most Gracious, Thank you for Monsieur.
Guide us O Lord in thy Path
Keep us devoted to thee
Strenghten our faith
Increase in our understanding
Grant us Patience, Love, trust for each other.

Most Gracious, as I have always asked of thee - One family, under thy guidane, Devoted to thee alone, worshipping thee alone,

Be thou glorified Most Gracious Lord

let the farting begin.... phew!!

And so it starts...

the human body is such an amazing organism..

it is a testament to the ingenuity of its Creator...

IT always amazes me each time,

so smelly farts, and pain!!! my belly says release the thunder!!!!

This Morning My Lord...

i am inspired by solomons Prayer in the scripture (38:35) this morning (and i have just realised something very very funny - and i laugh secretly - i seek refuge with thee My God in all circumstances in life and death)

the verse reads that solomon prayed

RK - He said, "My Lord, forgive me, and grant me a kingship never attained by anyone else. You are the Grantor."

Yusuf Ali - He said, "O my Lord! Forgive me, and grant me a kingdom which, (it may be), suits not another after me: for Thou art the Grantor of Bounties (without measure).

Pickthal - He said: My Lord! Forgive me and bestow on me sovereignty such as shall not belong to any after me. Lo! Thou art the Bestower.

Shakir -He said: My Lord! do Thou forgive me and grant me a kingdom which is not fit for (being inherited by) anyone after me;

Sher Ali - He said, `O my Lord, grant me forgiveness and bestow on me a kingdom that may not be inherited by anyone after me; surely, Thou art the Great Bestower.'

"Progressive Muslims" - He said: "My Lord, forgive me, and grant me a kingship never attained by anyone else. You are the Grantor."

(note with great interest that all the translations seem to concu with each other)

then i started to think - solomon asked for Kingship never attained by another...and i remembered the other part in the scripture where it goes along the line of "" Above every knowledgeable one, there is one who is even more knowledgeable"""


then i think inwardly to myself and i say - That God, i dont want kingship,sovereignity or authority... i dont desire such things for i can never handle them .... My Lord i desire from thee what i prayed/said/asked/implored to thee this morning...Gw you will provide and grant me as you have granted your servant solomon, and Gw just like your servant i will remember to hold fast onto thee, worship and praise thee always...

i am also reminded and inspired by Job (38:41) - who in times of hardship and Pain - went to his Lord... and this is a trait that i pray my Lord lets me emulate...

many a times we often forget that God is in control of everything - whatever hardship we may face, problems that we may be going through, i know we are all looking for an easy fix, we are all looking for easy escape, and unfortunately the temptation is there to seek help from other than God... but God please let us remember thee in such times, and increase in our faith and resolve to rely on thee and thee alone, to hold onto thee and thee alone, and Keeep us strong in thy path and provide us with timlely relief and ease from our difficult situation...

hmmmm

i miss you..
its hard not to count the days,
not to wonder how long this will go on for
not to hope that god willing everything will resolve and be ok...
i miss you...

a lot of it is a sacrifice from my end for all my vagrant exesses.
you see when you are young you never think of tomorrow, you never plan for tomorrow
now that tomorrow had come, you delay it because suddenly you have to plan,

if only i wasnt so carefree back in the days.. then maybe it would all be different...

but no regrets, what it is is what it is... that is how i have come to see it...
i will still hope in God and put my trust that all will be sorted God willing i just have to focus and get on with it..

it is my fault, the choices i made, the lack of regard, the excesses, the lack of self control - and now i am paying the price for it,

but i worry not because gw it willbe ok in the end.



Gw it wont be long....

inspiration

My Lord, cool my temper and make this matter easy for me- and untie a knot from my speech so that they may understand me........
Interesting.....such was Mosaes narration - we are reminded in the scriptures......