thanksgiving

I that I am F A O, with all that I have, offer up my thanks to the Most Gracious Lord, our creator for his speedy response to one of my cried for help. I am GRATEFUL my lord at your resolution, I AM THANKFUK FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE. MY God thank you very plentifully very muchly very ecstatically over this issue. you have lit up my darkness you have done for me.. thank you.
for All praise is yours, All authority and kingship, in this life and the hereafter there is no other God but Thee..

Supplication - arRaheem Khayru-l-Raziqin

this is my supplication to the Most Gracious Lord, in that  i seek His help, His Mercy and Provisions.. to please help me and provide for us a  nursery place for both children, at the nursery that is cheaper.
Ultimately Lord, you being my King have all knowledge of what is and what is to come.. you know what is best and You place as you will in regards the welfare of these Children.
It is not for my care but for they Grace and Love that these children live and are well and by thy Grace Long may it continue.

I start my supplication  seeking to reach thee Lord on they attribute of Mercy  - You are a Merciful God and i know this and can say this hand on my heart how merciful you have been with me. I rely yet again on they mercy on this issue.
you are also a Providing God and many a times you have provided for me whence i never expected it and you provided and surely your provisions are always fitting, adequate and satisfying.
ArRaheem and ArRazaq.

 i  continue my supplication with verse 5:114 in which the the scripture notes the prayer of JEsus to God. I implore my Lord with this  same prayer - asking that  he provide for me relief.
the verse Goes.. Our God, Our Lord, send down a feast from the sky. Let it bring plenty for each and every one of us and a sign from You. Provide for us. You are the best Provider.

The feast i seek from you, is one of  metaphorical hunger.. Hunger for the things which are thine and thine only.. hunger for progress and success.. hunger fo rthe goodness which thou doth provide.. Hunger for righteousness.. Hunger for Ease with life and safety for my childrens needs and welfare..

My God, who can i come onto to ask and put forward my case, to  beg and plead who else if not you.
 you have created me, and established me as i am.. You have helped me to know you. you have helped me to accept you and not run from you.. I am not perfect far from it.. every day I sin.. sin of emotion and anger.. sin of frustration with my life and my circumstances.. sin of arrogance..  but i will ask Lord that you overlook these faults of mine and help me please..

i dont want my children to lack.. and by thy grace they will not lack..
i beg of thee Lord please help me..

Allahuma rabbana, anta allahu,  anta ArRahman,warzuqna, wa anta khayru - l -  razziqin
Our God, Our Lord, you are my God, you are The Most Gracious, Provide for me, you are the best Provider

Om Jai Jagadish Hare.. Oh Lord of the Whole Universe

 so the other day i was watching  the many runs of  indian soaps and i came across this song.. which i have heard many a time on the film i watch and i wanted to know the meaning .

 i am happy to know the meaning of it because it astounds me that it is such a lovely song in praise and acknowledgement of God - just God that i too give it credence in that  it is a lovely supplication onto God.

 now obviously the many multifaceted nature that is indian cultural worship  aside - I am happy and i know who my God is.. God is the lord of the universe.. the one  and only and there is none other..Only He reigns supreme has always done and will always will..

Dear Lord wherever i am, let there be a part of me that will always appreciate praise for thee - in whatever language - let my heart accept it and   join in to give praise to thee..

http://www.shreehindutemple.net/hinduism/om-jai-jagdish-hare/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jai_Jagdish_Hare

in arabic - alhamdullilahi, Rabbi - l - alamin - Praise be to God, Lord of the Universe

Om jai Jagdish hare
Swãmi jai Jagdish hare
Bhakt jano ke sankat
Dãs jano ke sankat
Kshañ men door kare
Om jai Jagdish hare

Jo dhyãve phal pãve
Dukh bin se man kã
Swami dukh bin se man kã
Sukh sampati ghar ãve
Sukh sampati ghar ãve
Kasht mite tan kã
Om jai Jagdish hare

Mãt pitã tum mere
Sharañ paðoon main kiski
Swãmi sharañ paðoon main kiski
Tum bin aur na doojã
Prabhu bin aur na doojã
Ãs karoon main jiski
Om jai Jagdish hare

Tum poorañ Paramãtam
Tum Antaryãmi
Swãmi tum Antaryãmi
Pãr Brahm Parameshwar
Pãr Brahm Parameshwar
Tum sabke swãmi
Om jai Jagdish hare

Tum karuñã ke sãgar
Tum pãlan kartã
Swãmi tum pãlan kartã
Main moorakh khalakhãmi
Main sevak tum swãmi
Kripã karo Bhartã
Om jai Jagdish hare

Tum ho ek agochar
Sab ke prãñ pati
Swãmi sab ke prãñ pati
Kis vidhi miloon Gosãi
Kis vidhi miloon Dayãlu
Tum ko main kumati
Om jai Jagdish hare

Deen bandhu dukh harta
Thãkur tum mere
Swãmi Thãkur tum mere
Apne hãth uthao
Apni sharañi lagão
Dwãr paðã hoon tere
Om jai Jagdish hare

Vishay vikãr mitãvo
Pãp haro Devã
Swãmi pãp haro Devã
Shradhã bhakti baðhão
Shradhã bhakti baðhão
Santan ki sevã
Om jai Jagdish hare

Om jai Jagdish hare
Swãmi jai Jagdish hare
Bhakt jano ke sankat
Dãs jano ke sankat
Kshañ men door kare
Om jai Jagdish hare

Oh Lord of the whole Universe
Mighty Lord of the whole Universe
All Thy devotees’ agonies
All Thy devotees’ sorrows
Instantly Thou banisheth
Oh Lord of the whole Universe

He who’s immersed in devotion
He reaps the fruits of Thy love
Lord, he reaps the fruits of Thy love
Floating in a cloud of comforts
Floating in a cloud of comforts
Free from all the worldly problems
Oh Lord of the whole Universe

Thou art Mother and Father
At Thy feet I seek eternal truth
Lord, at Thy feet I seek eternal truth
There’s none other than Thee, Lord
There’s none other than Thee, Lord
Guardian of all our hopes
Oh Lord of the whole Universe

Thou art Godly perfection
Omnipotent Master of all
Lord, omnipotent Master of all
My destiny’s in Thy Hand
My destiny’s in Thy Hand
Supreme Soul of all Creation
Oh Lord of the whole Universe

Thou art an ocean of mercy
Gracious protector of all
Lord, gracious protector of all
I’m Thy humble devotee
I’m Thy humble devotee
Grant me Thy divine grace
Oh Lord of the whole Universe

Thou art beyond all perception
Formless and yet multiform
Lord, formless and yet multiform
Grant me a glimpse of Thyself
Grant me a glimpse of Thyself
Guide me along the path to Thee
Oh Lord of the whole Universe

Friend of the helpless and feeble
Benevolent saviour of all
Lord, benevolent saviour of all
Offer me Thy hand of compassion
Offer me Thy hand of compassion
I seek refuge at Thy feet
Oh Lord of the whole Universe

Surmounting the earthly desires
Free from the sins of this life
Lord, free from the sins of this life
Undivided faith and devotion
Undivided faith and devotion
In eternal service unto Thee
Oh Lord of the whole Universe

Oh Lord of the whole Universe
Mighty Lord of the whole Universe
All Thy devotees’ agonies
All Thy devotees’ sorrows
Instantly Thou banisheth
Oh Lord of the whole Universe

help

 i have wondered what to say to you in the last weeks months and though i am able to speak in my head its now a struggle to find time to express my feelings.
 I am struggling lord,i am really struggling and as i struggle along i ask for thy help as  always as ever asking for thy Grace and assistance.

Rabbuna Allahu

Alayhi tawakaltu wa ilayhi unibu..
My lord is God.. in him I trust and to him I turn..
My lord your name be glorified and praised in all of the heavens and earth
Let me forever have cause to glorify and praise thee. Let me never forget thee. Let it be that my every thought begins with thee, seeking your acceptance and blessings upon every aspect of my life. Without a doubt you are a good lord to me, Helping me taking care of me... so this little girl thanks you for everything and more

prayer of Job - 21:83

in the Quran,there is a passage in which  the person reffered to as Job says a prayer to God and it goes - Anni masaniya dhuru, anta arhamu rahimin.. the translation goes - adversity has befallen me and you are the Most Merciful of the Merciful..

 i lay this plea before thee O Lord on behalf of my Son - who seems to be afflicted with some sort of skin problem.. it has reached a stage that there are sores on his head.. it  is just eating his head and to compound issues there are now rashes on his skin.

Bible history goes that Job was afflicted with many issues that tested his resolve but he stood still and firm reaching out to God and God rewarded him for his faithfulness.

so my dear Lord - this is our AR -- why is he AR, he is AR because it is on you i laid my sights on when i asked for a son - It is on your name i meditated on when my husband was  tapping my belly asking "where is my child"  it is  on you that i placed myself and AR is a miracle onto me.. in my anguish and my despair - it was you i looked onto and i laid my plea and you did not disappoint me and you answered me and i dedicated my child to thee and named him the servant of the Most Gracious.. this was a name that came to me in 2009 before i had him , he was my dream come true.. you God made him come true - Thank you, Most Gracious
I placed my child from his inception in your care, i placed his future at your feet, his everything and i ask of thee to help me and to stop this thing from ravaging him.

i dont have strength my lord, i am officially weak but i know that with everything i come to you and you who has answered me and given me these two will by your grace answer me and help these two.

who is my powerful lord if it is not you.. Who is my saviour if it is not you. who delivers me from adversity if it is not you.. so i beseech you My lord right this instance as it is the beginning of my ramadan to heal my son and to make him better.

and i in turn will lay praise at your feet as ever before for your help and  mercy and your faithfulness and for not turning us away.

my mind is weary with worry and i dont have strength to keep going let alone be strong in the face of what  seems like a hammer load.. i need you o lord to please help me help my son..

help please lord helpl

I need your help lord.. I feel the doctors are fobbing me off..please it is your AR.. please.. I dont know what to do, what else to say, how else to do..I am in your sight lord please help us..

blabberings

 in th ename of God, the most gracious....

 where do i start Lord..
 I feel Lost..
I am Lost.

a couple of truths that i must acknowledge..
 yes indeed.. children and family life takes you away from God.
 slowly and slowly it churns you makes you tired forgetting your obligations to a point where you do not have the zeal to do that which you did before having them.
 and this is what i feared.. and it is what is happening.
 so people, be careful what you wish for..
 i ask myself is it perfection that i strive for  and am i tasking myself too much.
 i remember God in my heart but do i remember him with actions.. i agree and accept that life does take me away.. work commitments, children commitments, husband commitments, friend commitments.. and i slowly am letting myself slip .

 God however and whatever do not let me go but keep me tied to thee that i will forever glorify and praise thee. keep me in mind and hold me to thee and allow me to and give me the zest to praise you like before..


 yesterday my mum rang me and said that someone called her to say that my father had died.. i was like duh!! no one had called me to inform me.. in a way i didnt believe it and even after putting down the phone i was still like duh!!
 she rang me back to say that they said my dad was just tired no dead..
can you believe this..i am still like duh!!
 to me it sounded like my mum was gleeful in reporting the demise of my dad thats how it sounded to me -
anyways.. i dont believe it.. didnt believe it .. i rather thought i would know if these things were told to me.. that i would feel it.. so i guess because i didnt feel anything it was  not registered as truth to me.. as ever i plead with thee O lord for inspiratinal grace to help me  sift truth from fiction and to reside in truth in everything - thought, word  and action..

i want to by a house and i dont know where to start. i dont want debt of motrgage interest on my neck.. i am not the most savy of people when it comes to financial matters. infact i am not savy at all..but i reckon i want to get my own house for the children a nice lovely house with a garden either front or back.. back preferably but not choosy - with a kitchen i can call my own with my own stuff.. with two toilets  a dining room/area and bedroom for my children... a work room for the computer person.. and some things that i am keeping close to my chest.. God you are the provider and My Provider as ever ..

 this thing on Ar head has come back and i dont know how to get rid of it.. i worry and ask myself how did he get it where did he get it from.. its now bothering me because i want my children perfect and any flaw in them i see as a failure on my part..because how is it that i let him catch it and despite the treatments how is it that it is still there.. as ever God you are Provider and Healer so i plead with thee for thy healing grace on these children to make them better.

God i have no one else but you as my master and i want to write more.. you know what is in my heart before i think it before i say it to myself.. help me Lord to get back to you..

ramadan is approaching and as with each ramadan i have a theme and what i would like mostest is as follows..
* allow me O Lord to be appreciative of the blessings that you have bestowed on me and to  do the righteous works that pleases thee and admit me by thy mercy into the company of your righteous servants
*Grant me O lord your grace to say my prayers to thee consistently and to give my charity always in any condition
*admit me a honorable admittance and let me depart a honorable depature and grant me from thee O Lord your powerful support.
*your grace and mercy and light to illuminate the darkness that i m ay see it for what it is.. your endless mercy and forgiveness of my many numerous sins and accepting me into paradise

on a superficial scale what i would like
 *loose weight in hips and belly and get back to where i want to be
*save money and stop spending
*have our own house
*have our own car
*progress with work more money/promotion

on a family level it shall be the good health and safety and welfare and protection of my nearest and dearest,, Lord you know those i consider these to be..

she who is called her

today my lord I confess that my heart and the thoughts that flooded my mind were unbecoming of me and how I want to be. there is no excuse and I accept that. I say I dont understand your world lord and the rules and parties you put in place that affects our path. I don't understand my parents and their actions and how it is that I should accept what I would call their baggage especially when it goes against my feelings.. it is a tempestuous relationship with her..and I look to you o lord to guide me and help me with this test..right from a young age she has cursed me kept cursing me out of anger, out of fraustration that I wont do what she wants me to do..all about side with her against my father.. support her without question.. and I dont want to get involved in their affairs.. I just want to have a happy life.. that is not too much to ask.. that for me is better but I feel all she knows is hate and how to hate and I dont want to hate.. its not about how I feel my head is messed up by all I saw growing  up and what she made me do.. its not about the killing beatings and the abuse she subjected me to and it can only be called abuse..its not about the psychological games she plays making me feel inadequate.. its not about how in her need for control she humiliates me whenever I have friends.. its not about how she does not want me to have any friends and whenever I do she disaproves finds something to say about them to sow a seed in my mind.. its not about how how I didnt feel I have any guidance when I was growing up...it is about how do I pass this test called her.. how do I rise above and remember thee God first before descending to a part of me that just wants to spew hate back at her..I look at my childhood and the wrong turns I took, the things I was forced to do, the parents I  had but did not have and I feel sad.. its life I tell myself.. everyone's story is what makes it colourful... God please create a house for me
for my children here and with thee in paradise

All glory belongs with God

my Lord your name be praised and exalted always in my life, always..just because you are my Lord
.

low again

to God belongs all glory and praise.. how do I begin to describe the low mood I am feeling? it is like an unmeasurable sadness that weighs on my mind. it feels like the weight of the world is on my head..I just want to cry at times and in other times I want to curl and hide away almost like ceasing to exist..I dont know why but it catches me unawares.. like today again.. I think I got some news or impending news at work and I just drowned again.. but to thee O Lord I find my strenght as I ask thee for help to lift me above these sinking feelings..Great O Lord is thy power and Great is thy dominion over all things

low

the darkness that unfolds me.. I don't know how to explain.. but I seek refuge in my Lord to protect me as it goes away..keep me and mine safe dear Lord..protect us from evil that we see and that which we dont..

Low mood

There are days when my spirit is low that I dont know what to do.. I feel down almost at deaths door.. that is how I can describe it..I just feel fed up. And all "lifed" out.. in these circumstances I have nowhere to turn but to thee my lord and ask you to keep me firm and lift me up.. lift me high above all these feelings..anyways inspite and despite whatever I feel let my lips go: be thou glorified my lord..and let my heart affirm this phrase

Praise

Allahu anta arahman.
AA'limu-l-Ghaybi wa shahaadati Kabiru-l-Mutaa'li.
My God you are the Most Gracious. Knower of all secret and declaration; The Supreme; The Most High.

This is my praise for Thee todayy Lotd

Help me lord

Dear God. I am failing as a person.. help me please.. my darkness is threatening to overwhelm me.. help me please. Whichever whatever however never let me go away from thee.. keep me near.. keep me praising thee always