prayer of Job - 21:83

in the Quran,there is a passage in which  the person reffered to as Job says a prayer to God and it goes - Anni masaniya dhuru, anta arhamu rahimin.. the translation goes - adversity has befallen me and you are the Most Merciful of the Merciful..

 i lay this plea before thee O Lord on behalf of my Son - who seems to be afflicted with some sort of skin problem.. it has reached a stage that there are sores on his head.. it  is just eating his head and to compound issues there are now rashes on his skin.

Bible history goes that Job was afflicted with many issues that tested his resolve but he stood still and firm reaching out to God and God rewarded him for his faithfulness.

so my dear Lord - this is our AR -- why is he AR, he is AR because it is on you i laid my sights on when i asked for a son - It is on your name i meditated on when my husband was  tapping my belly asking "where is my child"  it is  on you that i placed myself and AR is a miracle onto me.. in my anguish and my despair - it was you i looked onto and i laid my plea and you did not disappoint me and you answered me and i dedicated my child to thee and named him the servant of the Most Gracious.. this was a name that came to me in 2009 before i had him , he was my dream come true.. you God made him come true - Thank you, Most Gracious
I placed my child from his inception in your care, i placed his future at your feet, his everything and i ask of thee to help me and to stop this thing from ravaging him.

i dont have strength my lord, i am officially weak but i know that with everything i come to you and you who has answered me and given me these two will by your grace answer me and help these two.

who is my powerful lord if it is not you.. Who is my saviour if it is not you. who delivers me from adversity if it is not you.. so i beseech you My lord right this instance as it is the beginning of my ramadan to heal my son and to make him better.

and i in turn will lay praise at your feet as ever before for your help and  mercy and your faithfulness and for not turning us away.

my mind is weary with worry and i dont have strength to keep going let alone be strong in the face of what  seems like a hammer load.. i need you o lord to please help me help my son..

help please lord helpl

I need your help lord.. I feel the doctors are fobbing me off..please it is your AR.. please.. I dont know what to do, what else to say, how else to do..I am in your sight lord please help us..

blabberings

 in th ename of God, the most gracious....

 where do i start Lord..
 I feel Lost..
I am Lost.

a couple of truths that i must acknowledge..
 yes indeed.. children and family life takes you away from God.
 slowly and slowly it churns you makes you tired forgetting your obligations to a point where you do not have the zeal to do that which you did before having them.
 and this is what i feared.. and it is what is happening.
 so people, be careful what you wish for..
 i ask myself is it perfection that i strive for  and am i tasking myself too much.
 i remember God in my heart but do i remember him with actions.. i agree and accept that life does take me away.. work commitments, children commitments, husband commitments, friend commitments.. and i slowly am letting myself slip .

 God however and whatever do not let me go but keep me tied to thee that i will forever glorify and praise thee. keep me in mind and hold me to thee and allow me to and give me the zest to praise you like before..


 yesterday my mum rang me and said that someone called her to say that my father had died.. i was like duh!! no one had called me to inform me.. in a way i didnt believe it and even after putting down the phone i was still like duh!!
 she rang me back to say that they said my dad was just tired no dead..
can you believe this..i am still like duh!!
 to me it sounded like my mum was gleeful in reporting the demise of my dad thats how it sounded to me -
anyways.. i dont believe it.. didnt believe it .. i rather thought i would know if these things were told to me.. that i would feel it.. so i guess because i didnt feel anything it was  not registered as truth to me.. as ever i plead with thee O lord for inspiratinal grace to help me  sift truth from fiction and to reside in truth in everything - thought, word  and action..

i want to by a house and i dont know where to start. i dont want debt of motrgage interest on my neck.. i am not the most savy of people when it comes to financial matters. infact i am not savy at all..but i reckon i want to get my own house for the children a nice lovely house with a garden either front or back.. back preferably but not choosy - with a kitchen i can call my own with my own stuff.. with two toilets  a dining room/area and bedroom for my children... a work room for the computer person.. and some things that i am keeping close to my chest.. God you are the provider and My Provider as ever ..

 this thing on Ar head has come back and i dont know how to get rid of it.. i worry and ask myself how did he get it where did he get it from.. its now bothering me because i want my children perfect and any flaw in them i see as a failure on my part..because how is it that i let him catch it and despite the treatments how is it that it is still there.. as ever God you are Provider and Healer so i plead with thee for thy healing grace on these children to make them better.

God i have no one else but you as my master and i want to write more.. you know what is in my heart before i think it before i say it to myself.. help me Lord to get back to you..

ramadan is approaching and as with each ramadan i have a theme and what i would like mostest is as follows..
* allow me O Lord to be appreciative of the blessings that you have bestowed on me and to  do the righteous works that pleases thee and admit me by thy mercy into the company of your righteous servants
*Grant me O lord your grace to say my prayers to thee consistently and to give my charity always in any condition
*admit me a honorable admittance and let me depart a honorable depature and grant me from thee O Lord your powerful support.
*your grace and mercy and light to illuminate the darkness that i m ay see it for what it is.. your endless mercy and forgiveness of my many numerous sins and accepting me into paradise

on a superficial scale what i would like
 *loose weight in hips and belly and get back to where i want to be
*save money and stop spending
*have our own house
*have our own car
*progress with work more money/promotion

on a family level it shall be the good health and safety and welfare and protection of my nearest and dearest,, Lord you know those i consider these to be..

she who is called her

today my lord I confess that my heart and the thoughts that flooded my mind were unbecoming of me and how I want to be. there is no excuse and I accept that. I say I dont understand your world lord and the rules and parties you put in place that affects our path. I don't understand my parents and their actions and how it is that I should accept what I would call their baggage especially when it goes against my feelings.. it is a tempestuous relationship with her..and I look to you o lord to guide me and help me with this test..right from a young age she has cursed me kept cursing me out of anger, out of fraustration that I wont do what she wants me to do..all about side with her against my father.. support her without question.. and I dont want to get involved in their affairs.. I just want to have a happy life.. that is not too much to ask.. that for me is better but I feel all she knows is hate and how to hate and I dont want to hate.. its not about how I feel my head is messed up by all I saw growing  up and what she made me do.. its not about the killing beatings and the abuse she subjected me to and it can only be called abuse..its not about the psychological games she plays making me feel inadequate.. its not about how in her need for control she humiliates me whenever I have friends.. its not about how she does not want me to have any friends and whenever I do she disaproves finds something to say about them to sow a seed in my mind.. its not about how how I didnt feel I have any guidance when I was growing up...it is about how do I pass this test called her.. how do I rise above and remember thee God first before descending to a part of me that just wants to spew hate back at her..I look at my childhood and the wrong turns I took, the things I was forced to do, the parents I  had but did not have and I feel sad.. its life I tell myself.. everyone's story is what makes it colourful... God please create a house for me
for my children here and with thee in paradise

All glory belongs with God

my Lord your name be praised and exalted always in my life, always..just because you are my Lord
.

low again

to God belongs all glory and praise.. how do I begin to describe the low mood I am feeling? it is like an unmeasurable sadness that weighs on my mind. it feels like the weight of the world is on my head..I just want to cry at times and in other times I want to curl and hide away almost like ceasing to exist..I dont know why but it catches me unawares.. like today again.. I think I got some news or impending news at work and I just drowned again.. but to thee O Lord I find my strenght as I ask thee for help to lift me above these sinking feelings..Great O Lord is thy power and Great is thy dominion over all things

low

the darkness that unfolds me.. I don't know how to explain.. but I seek refuge in my Lord to protect me as it goes away..keep me and mine safe dear Lord..protect us from evil that we see and that which we dont..

Low mood

There are days when my spirit is low that I dont know what to do.. I feel down almost at deaths door.. that is how I can describe it..I just feel fed up. And all "lifed" out.. in these circumstances I have nowhere to turn but to thee my lord and ask you to keep me firm and lift me up.. lift me high above all these feelings..anyways inspite and despite whatever I feel let my lips go: be thou glorified my lord..and let my heart affirm this phrase

Praise

Allahu anta arahman.
AA'limu-l-Ghaybi wa shahaadati Kabiru-l-Mutaa'li.
My God you are the Most Gracious. Knower of all secret and declaration; The Supreme; The Most High.

This is my praise for Thee todayy Lotd

Help me lord

Dear God. I am failing as a person.. help me please.. my darkness is threatening to overwhelm me.. help me please. Whichever whatever however never let me go away from thee.. keep me near.. keep me praising thee always

Darkness

Darkness spreads its clutches over me lord.. please help me lift the clouds away to see through. .help me pass over please

Thanks yet again

For everything and all things and for that one thing.. thank you most gracious lord.. for my friend and his leave to remain and for my friend in anticipation of hers.. thank you.. for today for yesterday for tomorrow and for always thank you.. for everything every small thing.. every big thing. Thank you..you are a providing lord.. thank you.. may Your Grace be upon me always in this life and the hereafter..

4:110 forgiveness

Wa man ya'mal suua'n aw yadzlim nafsahu, thuma yastaghfiri llaha yajida llaha ghafuuram rahiiman.

Anyone who commits evil or wrongs his soul then implores God forgiveness will find God forgiving merciful..

I can think the number of times I have read this surah and some verses wash over me
. In this instance this verse sticks out at me.. giving me hope and a light.. that I will implore on my lord to save me to redeem me and to accept me..
The hurt I carry makes me think unbefitting thoughts it makes me sin before my creator. . But I look to my lord as always to guide me to help me. .

This verse gives me hope that inspite and despite God is welcoming and is a sanctuary... even the most hardened heart melts in reverence to the grace of the lord...

Blessed is thy great name o Lord and blesses art Thou in all the universe

Help

My lord.. my life is in your hands.. you are my only Lord my God.. help me please and save me..I am in your hands..guide me please and save me

Praise

Llahul-ul mulku wa llahu-ul hamdu. Arrahman. Wahidul qahar..  this is my praise today oh lord.. God be king. And God be praised. The most gracious..the one and  only.. I am not sure this is a direct translation  but you get my gist..