Honouring..

And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour.(23)And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: "My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was small."(24)

This is a rough translation that best explains my theme for tonight. 
long a time that i have wanted to  say to you lord and to offload my 
issue on this matter

 as best as i can say this is that i am failing.. and before i fall i come to God the most 
gracious Lord to save me..

 i have a couple of questions

 how can one maintain this - when that parent is  testing ones endurance  and resolve

 how can you maintain patience and best behavior when that parent has not shown you patience
 or best behavior.

how can you be better when you have been treated worse?

 i am failing this commandant lord i know that so i am coming to you to ask of you to 
PLEASE keep me away from this sin and keep me apart from this temptation  that is leading me 
to commit this sin

Free me of this bondage and help me to progress free.

 as the more i am here i fear i will descend and fall deep and deep  with this error.

 it is time for me to break free because i cannot be where i know you will sin.

 as i have always said to you, if there is something that  will make me sin once i acknowledge it 
help me be free of  it.

 if that thing is my mother and the  relationship i have with her then i am ready to forsake it,,  

 there are a couple of testy issues btw us and  i acknowledge that she is my mother, i may not like 
her way and i will not support  her in what i consider to be wrong but  i am  on the verge of trading
 insults 

and i will like to avoid this in all entirety.

 there os more to this and i am not sure how i can put this to words but for now lord.. i beg of thee and i 
implore thee my God to help me break free of this sin and help me to go with my family and give me
 the home that i have asked of thee.

 help me please.

 i have called on thee a secret call and a out there call to ask for a home from thee .. my home.. 
our home a home where the most gracious is  the only lord.. a home where we can be safe, a home 
that is dedicated to the most gracious and where his worship reigns. a home for my children and a
 sanctuary for our family.

that home that i have loved.. 

you and only you lord knows what is in my heart... i cannot lie to you and i cannot avoid even my 
own failings.. in everything o lord i come to you and i have tried to stay true to you and you only.. 
in the face of loneliness and social reclusim i still stay true to you oh lord  so i come to you.. 
this is a big  failing of mine and i fear i will fail if i have not already failed...

 so God let this not be a test for me for if it is i have already failed it..

 but my lord is full of  forgiveness and mercy so i implore him for his mercy to please help me..

 it is  me i am asking for help me and set me free..

God that set noah to his land, that set abraham apart from his family to set up on his own, that set up
 joseph  apart from his own.. That God who has incepted me and decreed my destiny that God 
is the most gracious that i trust  that i know, that i thank for bringing me this far that God i am asking 
of now to give us our house and set us free that we may like as one family to worship him.

 blessed be the name of God my Lord  for ever and ever