New chapter

Most gracious lord. It is the end of my time at home as I head back to work tomorrow. Thank you for all your care and help anx all the support and courage you have given me.. a roller coaster of emotions I have been through anger depression rage delirious hapoiness everything through.. as I enter another phase I ask for your grace and mercy to follow me through. . Your blessings and favour up on me and my work.. progress and quality in my work and in every and anything I put my mind to do.. I ask for your continued grace in my life.. lead me lord to thee help me to worship thee let me not forget thee. My lord as I leave my  children to go to work please keep them safe wherever they are.. keep them happy..as I leave my mum too to go to work please keep her safe and keep her happy. Help her back to heal and give her strength and patience. DeR lord asni go back to work let everything fall into place for me  my worship my prayer my children  my family.. thy name be glorified and praised always in this life and hereafter. Help me to work hard work quality. . Help me to save money help me to make money so that I can put aside for our plans..help me to make money lord.. help me  so that I dont have unexpected expenses help me to concentrate on saving help me to  concentrate on savings...

thank you Lord.. thoughts on my mind

Thank you God for hearing me and helping me.. AM is taking breast milk from the bottle so now i ask from thee that you please provide in abundance lots of breast milk for her that she may have her fill to her contentment.

 i tried her with formula but she seems to refuse that but i will keep trying lord please help me with patience and help her to accept one of  the brands.. and abdul loved it.. but we will try another...

 God thank you very much. i am most grateful.

 Dear lord the situation in this country i really pray that you keep us together and dont let us split.. as a unified country but with rights to each of the tribes so hat we all have a say not just for our tribe here but overall.. common good and common wealth...

 Lord help me to start saving please  thi sis very important for me that i may save wisely and efficiently.. 

thank you

breaking point lord i am at that stage

here is how i feel right not lord.. rightly or wrongly my feelings are but this is how i am.
 i am at my lowest emotional state.
 i dont know what to do.
 sometimes the thought that you are either punishing me or that you are letting others wishes punish me is crossing my mind.
 if other wishes have been granted and it involves me in despair i implore to thee o lord to please relieve me because you are the only one that can help me.
 if it is that you are punishing me then i am sorry lord and i ask forgiveness and i beg of thee to help me.

i am afraid i will do something i will regret because i done see a way forward or backward.i am short of money so i have to go back to work but i want to go back secure that AM will eat without force, if she wont do it while i am around how can i be sure she will when i am at work.

 yesterday she took the bottle, much persuasion and standing still she took it, but last night i was soooo tired having been up most of sunday night  and she was fretting soo much that i gave her a bit of breast so she could sleep and so could i.
 since then when she was up in the night she has refused the bottle.
 maybe it is the formula milk because that was what was in it i dont know yet. i dont even know i can produce that much breast milk for her esp when i go back to work the chances of me pumping are reduced..
so i am hoping she takes formula too along with breastmilk.
 god in no way do i want to deprive her of food that you have provided for her as her source of nourishment.. i cannot say that i want to do that.. that is not my intention.. i just want her to have loads in abundance.. and if it is that it is from my breast that the abundance should come from then i accept it as her manna and quail as it is from thee o lord so it is best for her.

 maybe it is the formula cow and gate and maybe i should try another brand.. with that is waste and buying other types.. i dont know what to do lord i dont know what to do.. i dont know.. i am at your mercy lord.. i am at your mercy..
 Lord i am at your mercy...
yes it is true that we turn despondent when we are looking for something from thee and we are unappreciative once we get it.. that is a trait of every human i guess but LORD hand on my heart i say to thee that i am forever grateful for all you do for me... i am .. even if i am weary and not in the right state to pray i still in my mind seek to glorify and praise thee.. even  if i dont have enough i will try find something to spare..
even if my rage catches up with me and anger fills me.. i still turn to thee seeking redress and solutions from thee and thee alone..
 i have no one to turn to and i need your help please.
 i have had the thought that i know you are not a bad lord though we humans have bad wishes and bad thoughts.. even with my   wishes which some may consider bad but in my anguish and despair i consider them good - i turn to thee asking thee to grant them for me.. for me the crucial is that i turn to thee  because only you have power and authority and will in my life. i really rely on thee for my every provision and sustainance everything in my life.. that is why i dedicate my children to thee...
 i hope lord that my giving her the breast last night i have not undone the work because the plan is to stop giving her breast and give her the expresed milk.. she will also soon start weaning but weaning with breast milk.. if that is the way you wish it lord..
help me lord help me i need your great help over these my children and the different issues they pose for me please lord help me help me help me because i  feel i am at breaking point and i dont want to do something stupid that i will regret please lord help me because i have no one but thee.. please lord help me to get her to take to the bottle. i dont know baby speak and i dont know how to communicate with her but you lord that has created us you have the will to change every strong  will into rubber you have the say and the command.. please lord help me.. i lay in wait lord that i may yet again lay myself before thy alter  giving thanks that the Lord of abraham has not forsaken me and has come to my rescue

Help with praise

My life is in your hands Lord.. please help me please over this food and bottle issue. For anything to be done You only have to will Be and it shall be. I glorify and praise thee as I ask for your help.. God my salvation and Hope. Blessed art Thou Most Gracious Lord and Blessed be thy holy name..

I am at your mercy lord

I don't have any issues being in your debt lord but I need help from you regarding this girl and her feeding.. She is already small and how you are sustaining her I don't know.
She will gladly suck my finger and anything she will put in her mouth but when I give her a milk bottle she refuses even the sipping cup..I am at my wits end because as a mother I feel its my fault she is refusing the bottle.. I think this is an irrational thought but all the same I can't help but think it.. Some times I feel I should kill myself because I am that much of a bad mother she is refusing to take to the bottle. I didn't experience any of this with AR lord so why am I being tested this way.. I don't have any strenght left in me.. So I am appealing to thee lord to save me before I fall. I am asking for your help to please please please please listen to this mothers anguish and help her make things right and help her baby...
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I am still at it

Dear lord. I am still at it with this girl and it is weighing me down ea h time she does not suck on the bottle. I am at my wits end and I feel like I am waterboarding her and still she refuses. I have highlighted my caze with the hv that came and yet again... If I had known it would be this hard I would have opted for the bottle.. I never had this issue with AR proba ly cos he started on the bottle and was mixed on the two right from start

Anyways it is what can I do about it now that I need. I fried speaking to my elderly neighbour but her children were bottled from start.. I sent a message to mumsnet glasgow on twitter and no one replied. My mum says that my brother refused bottles and he had to drink out of the cup but presently the little girl is being force fed to enable her eat.. +and here we are at 6 months +does it mean i have to continue this until she is one.

 God this issue is weighing me down and i seek relief from you and help on this issue.

 i am stupid and i know nothing and i rely on your race and mercy to help me walk through life..

i have  never experienced this with anyone before please help me god please dont leave me and let me be worrying about this girl..

please.

 at this stage each time she eats i cry and my mental state i feel is frayed and unstable i need your help please.

Milk issues

Dear God, I come to thee asking for your help before i proceed in this matter.
 i have tried once before thinking it would be easy as it was with the first one  - not realising that it may not  as they are two different individuals.
When i tried i had a bit of relief on day 3 and some on day 4 but by day 5 there was total chaos.
As i now intend to go back to work i want to be secure that  she will be fed without any issues
 so i am introducing the bottle/sipping cup again.
lord of the things i admit onto myself and onto Thee is that i am weak of heart - i have no strength - but i know from  thee and with thee there is strength..
 so i ask of thee to make this  easy for me so that my heart can be calm - so that i do not run into emotions  and that i may once again say that my lord has heard my call as he did before.
in the Quran - i came across a passage where it states that You our Lord had Moses made  under your watchful eye. You returned him to his mother so that she may suckle him so that her fears may be laid to rest.
 It is on this passage that i now implore you My Lord  and ask for your help.
My Lord i have  dedicated her to thee so now i call for help from thee Most gracious Lord..
I am at your feet , apprehensive and desolate asking thee to help me lay my worries to rest and help her to eat her milk  either from the bottle or sipping cup and when weaning comes, helping her to take to it so that i can see her develop and i may lay praise yet again with thee

help needed

 i am still here again Lord asking  for your help with AM and the bottle saga..please lord help me so that she takes to it and food. please God help me.. i am forever at your mercy and in need of your assistance and help..

Help please

Dear lord. I am up because the children are unwell.  And I come to you to ask for stamina and strenght and patience to overlook them in this stage. I beg of thee lord because I am weak of heart and I cannot stand to see them suffer. I cannot stand to see them in pain.. please lord give them relief and let them be rid of this ailment. I will implore thee lord right now on the plea of  ayyub..anni masaniya dhuru anta arhamu rahimin... and I ask thy special grace on these my children as they have been dedicated to thee.. AR and AM God you are the one holding them up .. you are the one in charge of them without a doubt you are our lord and sustainer so I come to thee for help this early morning and seek relief and an end to this sickness. Thy name be glorified and praised o lord... God my salvation and help

Mummy

 I am finding it difficult to accept that my mum is getting older and that with old age comes frailty.

how i see her is still as the woman who raised me - spunky,strong and full of life, hearty and boisterous, forever strict and unflinching in punishment.

to now accept that that towering figure is now frail and with much less spunk is difficult for me to rationalise.

i still see her as i see her in my youth - power head figure and it is her strength that inspires me too to have strength and do what i have to do for my children.

 to have sleepless nights and still "wake up" fresh ready to attack the day. 

i guess what i am trying to say is

Dear Lord help me to be a better daughter to my mum, to try not to grumble much but be there for her as much as i can but overall serving You..

thank you God

Without a doubt Lord, may thy name be glorified and exalted always.. thats all i want to say for now..