Lonely

Dear Lord,
I am lonely.. I feel lonely and I feel useless.
I lack motivation to encourage mysef and I lack enthusiasm to want to do anything.
Even to pray, I feel no zeal
Even to bathe I cannot be bothered
Even to feed I cannot be bothered
I started to go out running to try to help me but a bad chest and cold infection has grounded me and the children
All I have ever known is work, work keeps me active, it keeps my mind out of trouble, it keeps crazythoughts at bay,it helps give me balance, with it on I am able to structure myself, my obligations, my life... Without it I feel lost.
Dear God please don't take it away from me.You are the best Provider, merciful and Kind
But also help me in this phase that I am..
I tried going to a child play group but they seem already established -the parents there- and I didn't feel warmed..., I tried seeking a penpal and I didn't want to give my number so I didn't go thru with it..I also want to be a good mother so please help me I want to be the best mother.. Please help me.. To find and utilise services to help my children flourish, to help my children socialise and enjoy their youth.. ..
I am not the easiest person to get to know, I am very guarded and can appear to be sometimes aloof.. My childhood has made me like that. And I accept it, I have tried to be someone I am not but that makes me very fake and I don't want to do that.
I feel very lonely lord, please help me.
I come to you for comfort and ease of my problems, O one who is aware of my every issue.. That is all I wanted to confess now..

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