I knew i loved you before I met you,
I knew i would cherish you till I die
I knew that God has sent you to me
I know i love you even now
i am grateful to the Almighty for you, everything about you
your tantrums, your smile, your kindness
I consider it a blessing that He has sent you to me.
I love you with all my heart, not cause that you are my first child but because you are my soul.
May the almighty Lord bless you abundantly with guidance, inspiration and mercy.
May He reign in your life as he guides you through this world
if a mothers blessings/prayers mean anything then my prayer for you is as thus:
May you know and Love God our creator
May you reach far beyond your parents ever reached
May You have Gods love and guidance
May God forever bestow on you his mercy
May you always walk in the path of righteousness
May my weaknesses be of your strengths
May my strengths be of second nature to you
May you have wisdom,logic and understanding from God
May your life be clean and hassle free
May God guide you in each and every step you take
May you learn from my mistakes
May you love God more
I love you, you love me but we love God more...
Friday, 21 February 2014
grieviance
i am coming to you my Lord to hear out my grievance and to ask for your help for this bitterness that is slowly eating at me giving me bad feelings when i think about how i have been treated.
there are so many issues and i don't know where to start.
but i will start in regards to the issue of considering me your equal and allowing me privileges when i was away.
i constantly pleaded with you to let me drive and to add me to your insurance so i would be covered driving your vehicle but you refused. always coming up with one excuse or another then i stopped asking because it was clear you had no intention to let me drive.
i don't know what you have against women driving but i believe this is an unfounded notion that you hold and i can find no justifiable reason or excuse for it.
there was only one time that you allowed me to drive your vehicle and this was when my mum was around and you did it not because you wanted to but rather because my mother had complained on my behalf and you wanted to show - falsely - that you were taking my matters into consideration. after this time it was clear your intentions were false and i refused. and i assert this because you confirmed that was the matter
before u married me i was independent within my means that God allowed me - i had my own car, i enjoyed driving a fact i told you several times and i remember conversations with you where in you complained that you do not like to drive at all and only drove as a means to an end - i remember even whilst driving and you mentioned this fact i would say to you well i like driving so let me drive us both with you always making one false promise or another that yes you would but you never.
in the uk when i came back - i established myself and God was favorable on me in that he supported me with a member of my family that i never knew i could count on who provided me with a car free of charge and gave me the opportunity to be mobile hence no hardship on me or my child.
when you came here immediately you wanted to drive the car - both cars - and initially i didn't let you only because i had tried to show you myself but i am afraid i am not a patient teacher and i said the best would be for you to take professional catch up lessons to help you understand about motoring in the uk.
this is one of the things that bother me Lord - this feeling of disappointment - because when i try to remember it i cannot believe or accept that someone can be this way to his wife - to a woman he married - he saw how i was - i did not deceive him .about who i was, what i enjoyed or my lifestyle yet once he married me he changed completely.
its like the instance that i bring up - regarding my kaftans - when he proposed to me i was wearing a kaftan - i had worn it severally in his presence - he said he liked them - yet once he married me he had an objection to them - this was the fateful day that he was violent with me and pushed me against a door handle which jarred by side. this is me a women that was 3 months pregnant.
its like a woman has no value to you.. you don't consider her to he a human being worthy of your time or your consultations.. you don't consider her to have any opinions or thoughts and certainly she cannot do anything without a man.. and i ask myself where does someone have this kind of idea come from. if in your village that is how they treat woman - that i snot how women are treated in my family because my father and mother raised us to be independent to have a voice... and that is how i will maintain myself. a woman is a human being equal in the eyes of God to a man.. there is no distinction.. and that i show i regard myself and run my life. i am not a second class citizen and i cannot accept anyone treating me as such. if that is the way you treat woman in your family then good for you because i am not from your family or from your culture and i will not accept anyone treating me as such.
you gave me money for my birthday and that money i chose to buy a car from my brother with it and this car has not served its purpose and i have to get another car.
when i told you of my car woes - one of the things you made clear to me was you have no money - and when i sit to analyse the conversation i think - i ask myself - but i never asked him for money - i was just sharing my problems - i never asked him for money yet he saw fit to make it clear to me that i have no money.
when it came to choosing the car i would have gotten another car immediately but he gave me advise not to rush and to take my time. which i valued.
when we sent to see the car - he then offered to want to contribute towards the car -
and it makes me think - in the privacy of us and God you turn me down yet in the public with someone else there(car salesman) you pretend to care or offer to shoulder responsibility. what sort of a dubious person are you.
this is another thing that gets me O lord. that i dont understand.
God this is the man i married - i married him because i love him and was willing to share my life with him but what i keep getting from him is that he is incapable of loving or sharing his life with me. so i ask myself why did he marry me then..but i don't try to grumble Lord i try to accept. if this is a lesson for me to learn Lord then i have no choice but to accept.
i left and have no intention of going back because of the way he treated me - he did not consider me his wife or his equal - he sought to impose on me not share or consider my feelings - he sought to make rules without consulting me and doing things he felt was right and that was it. I will not let that happen again.
so my lord i don't want to be bitter, i don't want to have bitter feelings at all - so i come to you to ask you to help me and soothe my bruised heart.
this is a new chapter i am entering into with this vehicle and i seek your protection and guidance as always as before going forward.
i have no one but you my Lord, as my master and help and i can not have anyone but you,
so God help my heart help me..
i want a husband that is loving caring that i know fully and i am safe in the knowledge that he cares for and loves for or me not one who is like a bastard that does not know the value of a good woman..
i turn to thee yet again my Lord the best provider and my help.
there are so many issues and i don't know where to start.
but i will start in regards to the issue of considering me your equal and allowing me privileges when i was away.
i constantly pleaded with you to let me drive and to add me to your insurance so i would be covered driving your vehicle but you refused. always coming up with one excuse or another then i stopped asking because it was clear you had no intention to let me drive.
i don't know what you have against women driving but i believe this is an unfounded notion that you hold and i can find no justifiable reason or excuse for it.
there was only one time that you allowed me to drive your vehicle and this was when my mum was around and you did it not because you wanted to but rather because my mother had complained on my behalf and you wanted to show - falsely - that you were taking my matters into consideration. after this time it was clear your intentions were false and i refused. and i assert this because you confirmed that was the matter
before u married me i was independent within my means that God allowed me - i had my own car, i enjoyed driving a fact i told you several times and i remember conversations with you where in you complained that you do not like to drive at all and only drove as a means to an end - i remember even whilst driving and you mentioned this fact i would say to you well i like driving so let me drive us both with you always making one false promise or another that yes you would but you never.
in the uk when i came back - i established myself and God was favorable on me in that he supported me with a member of my family that i never knew i could count on who provided me with a car free of charge and gave me the opportunity to be mobile hence no hardship on me or my child.
when you came here immediately you wanted to drive the car - both cars - and initially i didn't let you only because i had tried to show you myself but i am afraid i am not a patient teacher and i said the best would be for you to take professional catch up lessons to help you understand about motoring in the uk.
this is one of the things that bother me Lord - this feeling of disappointment - because when i try to remember it i cannot believe or accept that someone can be this way to his wife - to a woman he married - he saw how i was - i did not deceive him .about who i was, what i enjoyed or my lifestyle yet once he married me he changed completely.
its like the instance that i bring up - regarding my kaftans - when he proposed to me i was wearing a kaftan - i had worn it severally in his presence - he said he liked them - yet once he married me he had an objection to them - this was the fateful day that he was violent with me and pushed me against a door handle which jarred by side. this is me a women that was 3 months pregnant.
its like a woman has no value to you.. you don't consider her to he a human being worthy of your time or your consultations.. you don't consider her to have any opinions or thoughts and certainly she cannot do anything without a man.. and i ask myself where does someone have this kind of idea come from. if in your village that is how they treat woman - that i snot how women are treated in my family because my father and mother raised us to be independent to have a voice... and that is how i will maintain myself. a woman is a human being equal in the eyes of God to a man.. there is no distinction.. and that i show i regard myself and run my life. i am not a second class citizen and i cannot accept anyone treating me as such. if that is the way you treat woman in your family then good for you because i am not from your family or from your culture and i will not accept anyone treating me as such.
you gave me money for my birthday and that money i chose to buy a car from my brother with it and this car has not served its purpose and i have to get another car.
when i told you of my car woes - one of the things you made clear to me was you have no money - and when i sit to analyse the conversation i think - i ask myself - but i never asked him for money - i was just sharing my problems - i never asked him for money yet he saw fit to make it clear to me that i have no money.
when it came to choosing the car i would have gotten another car immediately but he gave me advise not to rush and to take my time. which i valued.
when we sent to see the car - he then offered to want to contribute towards the car -
and it makes me think - in the privacy of us and God you turn me down yet in the public with someone else there(car salesman) you pretend to care or offer to shoulder responsibility. what sort of a dubious person are you.
this is another thing that gets me O lord. that i dont understand.
God this is the man i married - i married him because i love him and was willing to share my life with him but what i keep getting from him is that he is incapable of loving or sharing his life with me. so i ask myself why did he marry me then..but i don't try to grumble Lord i try to accept. if this is a lesson for me to learn Lord then i have no choice but to accept.
i left and have no intention of going back because of the way he treated me - he did not consider me his wife or his equal - he sought to impose on me not share or consider my feelings - he sought to make rules without consulting me and doing things he felt was right and that was it. I will not let that happen again.
so my lord i don't want to be bitter, i don't want to have bitter feelings at all - so i come to you to ask you to help me and soothe my bruised heart.
this is a new chapter i am entering into with this vehicle and i seek your protection and guidance as always as before going forward.
i have no one but you my Lord, as my master and help and i can not have anyone but you,
so God help my heart help me..
i want a husband that is loving caring that i know fully and i am safe in the knowledge that he cares for and loves for or me not one who is like a bastard that does not know the value of a good woman..
i turn to thee yet again my Lord the best provider and my help.
Tuesday, 18 February 2014
I call on Thee Lord for help
My lord I need your help.. My emotions are all over the place again with low mood and feeling tearful. I need your help Lord. Strenghten me and enlighten me Lord
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Thursday, 13 February 2014
Without a doubt thank you Lord
Lord, thank you for the inspiration you put my way this morning. For the direction you placed in me and for accepting it for me.
This morning you placed in me an idea which I never had, but I followed through and succesful you made it come. You Lord have heard my call and you have helped me. Thank you very much. Thank you immensley thank you plentiful. For indeed I can say with evidence and conviction that the wonders of God are true
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This morning you placed in me an idea which I never had, but I followed through and succesful you made it come. You Lord have heard my call and you have helped me. Thank you very much. Thank you immensley thank you plentiful. For indeed I can say with evidence and conviction that the wonders of God are true
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Thursday, 6 February 2014
Praise to God in all the heavens and earth and Ma his Glory reign in my life always
this is what i found sometime ago when i was searching for meditation material and i must say it struck me immediately. it was read by Minsharry Alafasy as that is how i found it,,
because in this all reference is to God alone - there is no reference to anyone else other than God - as it should be.. it is simple and heart warming.. there are man versions on internet with various additions and insertions of muhammed which i don't subscribe to because for me all praise is to God alone no one else - God alone no addition or subtraction
God alone - that is who i want to serve and worship- in any language - as long as it is to God alone.
for the none arabic speaker there is a loose translation included to give u a gist of what it is.. but search for yourself if u can find better..
its a shame i don't know how to insert a mp3 file so you can listen as well..
because in this all reference is to God alone - there is no reference to anyone else other than God - as it should be.. it is simple and heart warming.. there are man versions on internet with various additions and insertions of muhammed which i don't subscribe to because for me all praise is to God alone no one else - God alone no addition or subtraction
God alone - that is who i want to serve and worship- in any language - as long as it is to God alone.
for the none arabic speaker there is a loose translation included to give u a gist of what it is.. but search for yourself if u can find better..
Allahumma lakal-hamdu anta
nuurus-samawaati wal-ardhi - wa
lakal-hamdu anta qayyumus-samawaati wal-ardhi - wa lakal-hamdu anta
rabbus-samawaati wal-ardhi wa man fihinna
My God, For You is all Praise - You are the Light of the Heavens and the Earth and for You is all Praise – You are the Sustainer of the Heavens and the Earth and for You is all Praise – you are the Lord of the Heavens and the Earth and all that is in them.
Antal-Haqqu wa wa'dukal-haqqu wa
qawlukal-haqqu wa liqa’uka haqqu, wal-jannatu haqqu wan-naaru haqqu,
was-sa'atu haqqu
You are the Truth, Your Promise is True, Your Speech is True, Your Meeting is True, Paradise is True, the Hellfire is True, the Hour is True (of Judgment)
You are the Truth, Your Promise is True, Your Speech is True, Your Meeting is True, Paradise is True, the Hellfire is True, the Hour is True (of Judgment)
Allahumma laka aslamnaa, wa bika aamannaa,
wa alayka tawakkalnaa, wa ilayka aanabna, wa bika khasamna, wa ilayka hakamna, faghfir
lanaa maa qaddamnaa wa maa akhkharnaa, wa maa asrarnaa wa maa alamnaa, anta Llahu- la ilaha ila anta..
My God, To You i have submitted in You have we believed, upon You have we relied.. to you we repent and for You have we argued, to You have we taken our judgement, so forgive us all that we have done and what we have not done, what we have hidden and what we have disclosed.You are God - there is no other God but Thee..
My God, To You i have submitted in You have we believed, upon You have we relied.. to you we repent and for You have we argued, to You have we taken our judgement, so forgive us all that we have done and what we have not done, what we have hidden and what we have disclosed.You are God - there is no other God but Thee..
Allahuma lakal -hamdu bima khalaqtana wa
razaqtana, wa haday tana waa alamtana, wa anqaztana wa farajta anna
My God, For You is all Praise - (as)you have created us and provided for us, and guided us and taught us and saved us and given us a way..
My God, For You is all Praise - (as)you have created us and provided for us, and guided us and taught us and saved us and given us a way..
Wednesday, 5 February 2014
Falaq--nasr--ikhlas
The three Qul: towards the end of the Quran, ikhlas, nasr and falaq. Were revealed in order of falaq, nasr and ikhlas.. I am fascinated by these three surahs.
I prefer falaq. For evening prayers afterwayds seeking from God refuge from things dark/mysterious that like to operate under cover of darkness.
Nasr I prefer for afternoons when the mind is prone to waning and seedless thoughts seeps in and ikhlas for mornings to affirm my choice and conviction that God is one.
I jus feel there is something to these three surahs.. Very interesting..
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I prefer falaq. For evening prayers afterwayds seeking from God refuge from things dark/mysterious that like to operate under cover of darkness.
Nasr I prefer for afternoons when the mind is prone to waning and seedless thoughts seeps in and ikhlas for mornings to affirm my choice and conviction that God is one.
I jus feel there is something to these three surahs.. Very interesting..
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