help

YOU WOULD THINK THAT I HAVE LEARNT MY LESSON BUT NOOOOOO - it seems that i like to punish myself necessarily..

here i am in all my crown and gallantry - trying to coax my sphincters to release it grips so as to allow me to deficate successfully...

why did i have to eat... i knew i was not hungry - my body did not want anything to eat - but noooo - because i had a crappy stressful day ( i dont know what stressfull if yet until tomorrow - Day two of this female onslaught)

now the food is going no where any my bowels are not doing any movement - but my doby is telling me that it needs to off load - so the saga continues over and over again...

i have asked for tomorrow off as an emergency holiday - because i have to be honest here - with what i knwo is coming tomorrow - going by what today has shown me - i will be as cranky as muck- in pain as PAIN, and i will be dripping like an over run fountain.

today i had to cry - the shame of it can you imagine - i had an accident( of the female kind) with my chair at work - i did not leave the offivce till 8pm - by then every staff in my department had gone - so i would wheel the chair over to the bathroon to try to get the stain off - and trust me it wasnt any thing like a small stuff, i had sat there unbeknown to be overdripping and for whatever reason it did not figure in my head that this is what had happened - what if i had got up and people had seen - the embarrassement of it... what am i a 13 year old girl or what....

i am sure i managed to get the stuff out - but the only thing now remaims will it dry in time or not - so really the mortifying shame of it all + pain + pain +pain +pain + constipation+headache +cranky really is not inspiring me to go to work tomorrow -

so my routine - whch i hate to do is one painkiller every 2 hrs till tomorrow is over....

i rememebr when i was younger and i went to my friends house to do my hair, that day for whatever reason i felt special, i wore my yellow skirt that was tough to iron and a shirt ( not sure of the colour) i sat there paitiently while my hair was being done - and lo and behold when it was time for me to get up and go home - the coin dropped - i has messed myself up without knowing it, the shame of it and embarrasseemnt - so i had to borrow a wrapper and walk home... it wa snot that far - but this brought back memories again and......they are not things i want to remember....


arrrgh,....
i am still here, my bowels wont move, my spinchter is clamped and will only release for 30 seconds then clanps shut by which anny attempts to push without any successful defacation means i have to jump up before the clamping pain paralyses my leg ---
on a whole it is quite funny,,, but in reality the pain is blodddddddddddddddddddddy awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwful.......

i need help, hekp you hear i seriously neeeeeed help.... helppppppppppppppppppppp