Remembrance

We have come a long way.. some i remember some i don't..
Thank you lord for everything.. that you lord for all things.. thank you God for That thing..

Ashamed

The other day I had the intention to go to my favourite charity shop and on the way I met a mother of one of the children the kids went to school with. She was heading to the shops to drop things off. I was glad we met  on the way as I realised I would have felt embarassed to meet here there.
Then I felt guilty because I do like trapaizing about the shops in hope of a bargain and i have got many a scoop bargains. I am no less than anyone who shops there nor am I more than those who do not or do. But I do enjoy going there.
To withold myself going because I felt embarrassed was not a good thing I think but i understand the sentiments behind it.. I don't know why I felt ashamed but i did at that time, as I probably thought she would think we are not coping thats why I was there. Anyways lord help me rid myself of these feelings. The only one I have to answer to is you and help me rise above these feelings and do what I feel is rigjt for me and right by you..

Prayer

Rabbana hablana min azwajina wa zuriyatina qurata aa'yuni wajalna li mutakina imaaman.
Our lord let our spouses and children a source of joy for us and keep in the forefront of the righteousness. 25:74

Fuck you

 i want to say so many thinga but the ome burning in my psyche is work related.
 i want to rant sooooooooooooo bad because i dont understand peorple an di dint understan dthr work.
  let me say this clearly I dont care whether you like me or not but we have to work together.
 we may make idle chit chat fair enough but i am not there tp pick up your shit..
 i am nto there to pick up your shit, you can do that yourself.

 i am done with picking up someones shit  in fact anyones.. it is time you take  resposibility for your own work for which you have been assessed and have earned credit for and stop seeking to pile ..  i am overworked just like everyone else.. i am assessed unfairly  and i have had enough

 you have earned bogus passenger credit if it indeed is the case -  for the claim now you want to bounce them back to me..  becaue of what.. for all of 2015 you had the claim.. 2016 you had the claim,, you closed a file and now they come back haunting you.. are you sure of your stance.. do you have any doubt..
 i dont like confrontation i dont like arguing but i will if i have to because i am saying no.
 what the heck  is going on..  here am i a fool or the door mat for the team..

 so my prayer right now again God is Set me free of the bondage that is  this job.. they done like me.. they dont want me.. set me free let me go elsewhere i can flourish,,
 i am dont being a furniture for peopel to truddle and advance past me.. i am done with being overlooked.
 i am now snatching my crown and glory and progress with my Lords blessings away from those think they have stored it away..

 God will; punish the whole lot of you motherfuckers who have kept me down and are plotting against me.. your plots will never work,, can never work because my Lord plots better than you and his plan for me is one of progress and success.
 so fuck you motherfucker..

 God i am sorry but this is how i feel right now... i wont lie..

Blip

This July has been a very very unsuccessful month in terms of prayer. I have been So look tired.. lack lustre.. no will to up and pray.. and my morning and evening prayer has suffered as a result.. it is a blip I am saying to myself.. but i seek refuge with the most Gracious..as I ask for his help and support to help me achieve my objectives and obligations..
As with anything you my Lord God. They is no other God but thee..help me get back on track..help me succeed. Help my light..shine it back on.

Forgive me pls

The other week I was.struggling.with my emotions how to.deal.with .not getting thru and dealing .it was a measley half point separating me.from.the next stage..
You dear lord have hindsight over everything and anything at all. and i trust it is for a reason and for a reason.
You always have my best interest at heart..you always look after me.. so why should this have been any different..
I seek refuge with thee dear lord as i ask for forgiveness.for my thoughts.
I remember a passage.. "if i ere it is cos of my shortcomings and if i succeed it is because of the grace of my lord up on me".. something like that..
My shortcomings are many
. I know..but by thy grace I am working on them..
Forgive me for my feelings then lord and help me to remember thy words and blessings upon me.. help me to progress and succeed in this life and hereafter..

Did i say thank you

If i forgot lord i am sorry and i beg your indulgence.
Thank you for.letting us find childcare for the lady.. thank you for creating a space..thank you very much..

Better tings..

Prabhu.. rabbi.. my lord..So I got a response and i didnt get it.. I am not sure how to feel but i feel.ok..actually.. I kinda felt I won't get anywhere but this is me plotting my exit.. and with the grace it will be possible..
I am ready to go and just like you set me free before I know you will set me free to flying and better things..
I ask in the name.of.the most gracious Lord who is my lord and master.. I ask of my God seeking his bounties and blessings..
Be thou glorified my lord..

Help

The last.two days I have been very tired.i.am unable.to.wake.for.my isha prayers.i seek help ffrom thee o lord asking for strenght in mind and vigour to enable me fulfil my obligations..

Rabbi inni lima anzalta ilayya khayrin fakeerun

I put myself up for a role at work.God.. my success is in your hands.. my progress is im tour hands.. not just for now but has always been the case. I have also sent my application out and i await favourable.returns god willing..
Everything is achievable only with your grace and blessing.
So lord.. in as much as i dont like rejection.. in as much as i want to win all the time.. i leave my directions at your feet. Your will be done in my life here and after.. i am of your stock.. i want to be of your stock..
GOD'S will be done as he has control of everything and anything in this life..in this world..in all the universe.. he only has to command be and it will be.
On my part at this very moment...i say glory be to my lord the most gracious lord who is the best provider.. help me to progress lord...

My lord.. i am in need.of whatever provision you send to me..as you helped and responses to Moses.. please respond to me and lift me high for the glory of thy holy name..

In need of grace

I am soooooo disillusioned so i seek light from thee o lord. Help me.to progress.. i have sent my application and in this case i wont hokd back.. bu your grace if i get a position then off i go to bigger and better things.
Where i am its the same old feelings regurgitating and i dont want that.. i am done but i will work right as i have always done.. help me to move om quickly and swiftly.. i am seeking thee to exalt me o lord in work.. life and faith.. help me lord as i come to thee. Let not my detractors glee over my condition..but raise me up for the glory of thy name.. it is i who is in need of thee and thy grace. It is i who is seeking from thee o lord. Please answer my prayers.

Be and it is..

It is the last day if ramadan.. thank you lord for allowing me to observe this far. Thank you for sustaining me throughout.. thank you for holding me throughout. Your name be praised and thanks always.
On this day i reach surah 36.. which is fitting foe the end which states
Innama amruhu idha arada shayan.. anyakula lahu kun fa ya kun.. subhanaladhi bi yadihi malakuntu kulli shayin wa ilayhi turjauun.
All He(God) needs to do to carry out any command is to say be and it is.. glory be to the one in whose hands is all sovereignty and to whom we will all be returned..

Help me kunfayakun my progress and righteousness in this life and after.. help me fastrack my success and blessings  in this life and hereafter.. i am in need of your services and mercy and blessings and grace and provisions....provide for me abundantly in this life and hereafter..Draw me closer to thee o lord always.. guide me to thee alwaya and allow me to praise you always. Forgive me of my sins and grant me righteousness from thee.
You alone are my lord..for all praise is yours.. all authority kingship and glory. In this life and hereafter Be thou glorified most gracious lord...

Rambling

I dont want to loose my breasts lord and i dont want to have that thing. So i come before thee in face of my fears i come to my lord... maybe i am being delirious.. maybe i am loosing the plot..  eitherway help me.to be healthy and strong.. help me to be healthy and firm..

Thank you

Thank you God for my nomination of today at work.... i didnt win.. but it was a wonderful surprise.. i remember when i saw it i wanted to nominate myself.. i had open the email.amd then i gave up.. feeling unappreciated amd overworked.. i said i will not tout myself and my accomplishments so when i saw it today i was a bit blaaze about it. But in reality it was bittersweet because of where i am and how i feel about work right now.... regardless of this..in everything lord all glory is yours.. it is your mercy and glory that enables me to achieve and reach thus far.. thank you god for everything..
You exalt whomever you wish and you commit to humiliation whomever you will. Dear lord.. bless me and honour me in this life and the hereafter.. guide me to thee always and allow me to always praise and glorify thy name.

Better things from my lord

Allahuma faatira samawaati wal ardhi.. Aalimuul ghaybi wa shahadati..anta tahkumu bayna ibadika fiima kanuu yakhtalifuun..

Our God initiator of the heaven and earth..Knower of all secrets and declaration..you are the only one who judges among your servants regarding their disputes..

God i need a sizeable increase in my wage and i am very disillusioned with my job..i need your timely help amd assistance.. i need you God.. i need you.. come to my aid please.. if they cannot allow it.. please let me go and flourish elsewhere with those who can... i cannot.struggle and struggle and try to do the best and not see anything tangible come.out of it.. i cannot.seem to break their glass ceiling.. and if my face does now fit.. then God..let it be desirable elsewhere.. i cannot force a work to appreciate my dedication..i am ready to go and move on to better and more prosperous things...
I ask of thee lord at my halfway point.. i ask your help and mercy on this issue.. i ask from my gracious lord..