Guidance

Wa tawafani muslima, wa al hiqni fi rahmati bi salihin.
Let me die as a submitter and count my by thy mercy with the righteous.
Yusuf 12:101

Outburst

I am not upset with you lord. I can never be. I am just disappointed at my life and the stage i am at. This is causing me to feel frustrated and loose focus.
But as i read.. no one shall despair he that has trust in the lord and i trust in my god because i know and have felt his mercy and Grace.. and i seek that mercy and grace again and again..
Thy holy name be praised and exalted o lord my god in this life and the hereafter..be thou glorified

Thanks

Dear God.. thank you for everything.. let there not be a day that i dont shout out in praise to thee for your glory that is manifest with me.. let.me.forever be in awe of your greatness and wonder..
You WHO made what seemed impossible possible.. you who delivered my freedom.. you who set me on your path.. keep me praising thee o lord.. keep me i. Your service lord..
Even in fields so broad your duties i still perform and i ask for no reward except to worship thee...
For all praise is yours
All authority kingship and glory
In this life and hereafter
Be thou glorified my lord..

Lost family

Yesterday lord my mind went up to my family and those i grew up with and i reminisced about the fun times we all had before the division and alliances and hatred set in.. how did this happen.. when did this happen...god help us all..

Prose

I want to worship you Lord in all that i do. Let my life bring glory to you. Fill my heart so your love can flow
Guide me Lord wherever I go.

Am I being dramatic

I am.going to the doctor to.confront my fear..gw all will be well..

Praise

Rafiu darajati zul arshi.. Arrahman Wahid ul qahar

Memory and mishmash

Allahuma anta allahu. Rabbu raufu rahim. Anta allahu arahman arahmeem. Anta allahu al hafeez, al mueez, al hayyu, al qayumu, al qayimu. Alla kulli nafsi wa hawli bima kasabat, wa huwa mahakum aynama kuntu.. wa llahu bima tamaluna baseer. ( llahu khayrun raziqin)
Subbuhun Quddusun
Rabbul Malaikatu wa ruhu Alaa -Al-Arshi Istawa, wa alaa - al malikul istawa
La dafi 'a lima qada wa la mani'a lima a'taa
Yaf'allu man yuridu fi mulkihi
Wa yahkumu fi khalqihi bima yashau
Wa huwa ala kulli shayin Qadir.

Most Glorious The Holiest
Lord of the angels and the spirit - Who is firmly established in His Throne
No one hinders what You(God) have decreed and no one prevents what You(God) give
You (God) do what You(God) will in Your dominion and You(God) rule Your creation with whatever You(God) will. You (God) are Omnipotent.

Remembrance

We have come a long way.. some i remember some i don't..
Thank you lord for everything.. that you lord for all things.. thank you God for That thing..

Ashamed

The other day I had the intention to go to my favourite charity shop and on the way I met a mother of one of the children the kids went to school with. She was heading to the shops to drop things off. I was glad we met  on the way as I realised I would have felt embarassed to meet here there.
Then I felt guilty because I do like trapaizing about the shops in hope of a bargain and i have got many a scoop bargains. I am no less than anyone who shops there nor am I more than those who do not or do. But I do enjoy going there.
To withold myself going because I felt embarrassed was not a good thing I think but i understand the sentiments behind it.. I don't know why I felt ashamed but i did at that time, as I probably thought she would think we are not coping thats why I was there. Anyways lord help me rid myself of these feelings. The only one I have to answer to is you and help me rise above these feelings and do what I feel is rigjt for me and right by you..

Prayer

Rabbana hablana min azwajina wa zuriyatina qurata aa'yuni wajalna li mutakina imaaman.
Our lord let our spouses and children a source of joy for us and keep in the forefront of the righteousness. 25:74

Fuck you

 i want to say so many thinga but the ome burning in my psyche is work related.
 i want to rant sooooooooooooo bad because i dont understand peorple an di dint understan dthr work.
  let me say this clearly I dont care whether you like me or not but we have to work together.
 we may make idle chit chat fair enough but i am not there tp pick up your shit..
 i am nto there to pick up your shit, you can do that yourself.

 i am done with picking up someones shit  in fact anyones.. it is time you take  resposibility for your own work for which you have been assessed and have earned credit for and stop seeking to pile ..  i am overworked just like everyone else.. i am assessed unfairly  and i have had enough

 you have earned bogus passenger credit if it indeed is the case -  for the claim now you want to bounce them back to me..  becaue of what.. for all of 2015 you had the claim.. 2016 you had the claim,, you closed a file and now they come back haunting you.. are you sure of your stance.. do you have any doubt..
 i dont like confrontation i dont like arguing but i will if i have to because i am saying no.
 what the heck  is going on..  here am i a fool or the door mat for the team..

 so my prayer right now again God is Set me free of the bondage that is  this job.. they done like me.. they dont want me.. set me free let me go elsewhere i can flourish,,
 i am dont being a furniture for peopel to truddle and advance past me.. i am done with being overlooked.
 i am now snatching my crown and glory and progress with my Lords blessings away from those think they have stored it away..

 God will; punish the whole lot of you motherfuckers who have kept me down and are plotting against me.. your plots will never work,, can never work because my Lord plots better than you and his plan for me is one of progress and success.
 so fuck you motherfucker..

 God i am sorry but this is how i feel right now... i wont lie..

Blip

This July has been a very very unsuccessful month in terms of prayer. I have been So look tired.. lack lustre.. no will to up and pray.. and my morning and evening prayer has suffered as a result.. it is a blip I am saying to myself.. but i seek refuge with the most Gracious..as I ask for his help and support to help me achieve my objectives and obligations..
As with anything you my Lord God. They is no other God but thee..help me get back on track..help me succeed. Help my light..shine it back on.

Forgive me pls

The other week I was.struggling.with my emotions how to.deal.with .not getting thru and dealing .it was a measley half point separating me.from.the next stage..
You dear lord have hindsight over everything and anything at all. and i trust it is for a reason and for a reason.
You always have my best interest at heart..you always look after me.. so why should this have been any different..
I seek refuge with thee dear lord as i ask for forgiveness.for my thoughts.
I remember a passage.. "if i ere it is cos of my shortcomings and if i succeed it is because of the grace of my lord up on me".. something like that..
My shortcomings are many
. I know..but by thy grace I am working on them..
Forgive me for my feelings then lord and help me to remember thy words and blessings upon me.. help me to progress and succeed in this life and hereafter..

Did i say thank you

If i forgot lord i am sorry and i beg your indulgence.
Thank you for.letting us find childcare for the lady.. thank you for creating a space..thank you very much..