Dear Lord,
truth be told that i am lagging behind in my obligations and i am ashamed to confirm that such it is.
i ask thee for strenght and patience and courage to continue with that which i must.
I ask thee for spirit to invigorate my life to forever praise, glorify and acclaim thee.
I beg of thee not to hasten retribution upon me for my forgetfulness, for what is my lack luster and for my tiredness.
these times of long days and short nights - the accumulation of looking after the boy are telling on me my Lord. it is not an excuse and there can never be an excuse where you my Lord are concerned.
evening prayers are becoming an issue for me - in that i am tired by the time comes and i want to sleep that i consiously seek your forgiveness as i fall asleep - i am drowsy to get up to do my obligation.
this time of long days and what is " no true dark night" also reinforces the 3vs 5 prayer issue.. but i dont want to say i am lazy to perform 5 prayers so i fall for 3... no ...
i will admit to myself that i have tried the 3 prayer and my heart felt at peace - that i could just pray to God, i was not bogged down by you have to do so many salat - i just prayed and done as many prostration as my spirit were able.
but i am still searching for a clue still searching in your words of scripture to try to understand so i can have clear guidance without ambguity without doubt.
By your grace, i will not be afraid to do that which i have to do by your grace i will stand strong..
Remember Lord some many years ago i asked of thee that when the crunch comes to the crunch - let me never forsake thee.. let me not deny thee - for Thou have never forsaken me and Thou have never denied me - you have kept me, looked after me, blessed me with they help and kindness and mercy....
if not for anything - if not for any fear of hell or promise of heaven... let me never forsake thee for just because Thou have never forsaken me... thou have always listened to me and By your grace and with the kindness that Thou does bestow Long may it continue in this life and in the next.
Keep guiding me to thee O lord to always remember to worship thee, to praise thee, to Glorify and acclaim thee - to magnify thy name for thy name is Good, thy name is great and thou My Lord are a merciful God.
help me to overcome my demons - for they are troubling me again... that which i thought i had a grip on is back to torment me - give me strength within to overcome - to stand fast and stand still - unshaken by desire or lust..
help me to get back to a routine - of night time meditation - help me and give me strength from thee.. keep me observant of thee... Like Mary in the scripture bless me and guide me to thee as i ask just like the wife of pharaoh - My Lord build for me a place with thee in paradise...
All Glory is Yours my Lord
all Praise, Authority and Kingship
In this Life and in the next
Be Thou Glorified My Lord.
No comments:
Post a Comment