Hello.. is there love there?

i don't know if he really loves me.. or  better i should say i don't feel as if he loves me.
I want to feel loved, cherished and wanted but i don't feel all these things.
Yes he cares for me, he provides for me in terms of food.. but food is not a high list on my priority. Yes it is important for nourishment but the Most Gracious provides that for me.
What i crave for is affection and intimacy - something  i feel he cannot provide me  or he does not know how to provide it for me and therefore does not care to provide it for me
the whole episode   from the beginning of the 9 months has left a bad taste in my mouth because in some ways he changed from what i knew.
Yes i understand in life that change is constant but  this change is not something i accounted for, as i had told myself he seems the sort of person who would not be this way..
i feel i am treated at best as a sister or a friend - someone you feed and worry about their safety but that is  all.
I want more than that, i need more than that...
i want to be his Queen, i want him to love and cherish me like his queen, madly love me and madly want me..
i  don't want to feel like i am just another mouth to feed,
 i want to feel that i am special, someone who sets me apart from everyone else..
someone for me as i want to be for him,
someone to share with me... in this regard i feel like he dictates and does for me rather than share with me..
I am not a possession but a partner...
 do i even know what i am saying here??
i don't think he can show me love.. he has said he will change but some changes he has said  he would do and he does/did not change..
i don't think he knows how to show me the love that i want/need
i worry about this, and its at the back of my mind..
the  pregnancy pimples issues was a big turning point for me.
All i have in my head is despite what i was going through, he did not try to understand  and embrace and support me, instead he distanced, regarded and treated me like a leper..
how can  someone you love treat you like that,
It makes me think, if something worse were to happen further down the line.. is this how i will be treated the same.
I felt sad and i did not understand how..
 see for me, when you love someone you accept them, imperfections and all.. you see in them perfection despite their imperfection.
a hard choice i am having to pay in this body conscious world of hours.. breastfeeding+ pimply face or No breastfeeding+no pimply face..
but the choice is easy for me.. but i then doubt.. my would-be lover did not deal very well with my pimply face.. so i should stop breastfeeding so i don't get pimply faced and he would not look down on me.
he does care.. there is some care  in him....
but how much of a care is there to sustain a relationship/partnership/affectionaship/intimaship
he talks a good talk but the actions are not there
 i want love, i need love..
 i want to be his Queen, but i fear he is happy without one.