Thank You God,
I am grateful.
Saturday, 27 November 2010
Sunday, 21 November 2010
L'homme propose...... Dieu Dispose....
Ce soir, i feel vulnerable, and sad.
I am letting emotions and my thoughts overwhelm my sense of reasoning.
i understand that in life we all have aspirations, goals, hopes and dreams.
but we only( or in this case i only because i dont know about everyone else, but i do think this is a trait that is shared by everyone) hope and dream for that which is at the end of our noses - we never know how things will "pan out".
i reckon it is a general fact that in life we dare to dream but God makes this a reality
and i reckon it this reality that i am begging my God for.
while it is easy for me to bare my soul and lay out my deepest darkest thoughts and secrets - i reckon i will leave it for my Creator who knowest my anguish and my longings , who knowest my every thought and every action - whether hidden or declared.
Man proposes, God disposes.
This involves trust and acceptance.
Trust that God knows what is best and acceptance that Gods will be done in my life.
It is easy to say that yes i trust, but the "proof is in the pudding". Trust that whatever the circumstances, even if it is a darkest fear turned reality, that i will still always trust in God and accept whatever fate He has ordained for me. - even though a part of me is crying out "God please test me not with a fate that i cannot handle" - coward that i am....."Test me not with a burden that i cannot bare"...
while my mind machinery is going into overdrive, thinking up impossible situations, capitalising on my vulnerability, i have to remind myself that God is always in control.
it is easy to forget that God is in control, especially when there is something that you want so badly. You think that your life will end if you dont have it...... you cannot see past the end of your nose unless you have it, you think your life will be better, everything will fall into place once you have it.!!
but...
sometimes, not everything we wish for is meant to be with us for that time... not everything we wish for is good for us....
firstly this is a lesson for me....
if there is an underlying emotional issue, whatver thing it is will only lift you up for a while and then you descend yet into deeper distress looking for another thing to feel the emotional crutch.
anything in this life is just a posessions and posessions are worthless in the hereafter, the only thing worth value is developing your soul in the path of righteousness
God IS IN control.
I am letting emotions and my thoughts overwhelm my sense of reasoning.
i understand that in life we all have aspirations, goals, hopes and dreams.
but we only( or in this case i only because i dont know about everyone else, but i do think this is a trait that is shared by everyone) hope and dream for that which is at the end of our noses - we never know how things will "pan out".
i reckon it is a general fact that in life we dare to dream but God makes this a reality
and i reckon it this reality that i am begging my God for.
while it is easy for me to bare my soul and lay out my deepest darkest thoughts and secrets - i reckon i will leave it for my Creator who knowest my anguish and my longings , who knowest my every thought and every action - whether hidden or declared.
Man proposes, God disposes.
This involves trust and acceptance.
Trust that God knows what is best and acceptance that Gods will be done in my life.
It is easy to say that yes i trust, but the "proof is in the pudding". Trust that whatever the circumstances, even if it is a darkest fear turned reality, that i will still always trust in God and accept whatever fate He has ordained for me. - even though a part of me is crying out "God please test me not with a fate that i cannot handle" - coward that i am....."Test me not with a burden that i cannot bare"...
while my mind machinery is going into overdrive, thinking up impossible situations, capitalising on my vulnerability, i have to remind myself that God is always in control.
it is easy to forget that God is in control, especially when there is something that you want so badly. You think that your life will end if you dont have it...... you cannot see past the end of your nose unless you have it, you think your life will be better, everything will fall into place once you have it.!!
but...
sometimes, not everything we wish for is meant to be with us for that time... not everything we wish for is good for us....
firstly this is a lesson for me....
if there is an underlying emotional issue, whatver thing it is will only lift you up for a while and then you descend yet into deeper distress looking for another thing to feel the emotional crutch.
anything in this life is just a posessions and posessions are worthless in the hereafter, the only thing worth value is developing your soul in the path of righteousness
God IS IN control.
casserole.... smasherole
so word on th emarket is that i am officially looking for a casserole dish
and i keep seeing ones that are like 50 -100 quid.
are they that expensive?
crikey!!
preferably i need a stoneware one( i just think that this is best) - but i keep seeing cast iron ones.
arrrgh!!
casserole, smasherole...
what do i do?
you know what i will ask my mum for my wedding gift, a kitchen pot set.. casserole, large cooking pots - quality ones.
and what will i get myself, Godwilling a fandabedozy double oven cooker - preferably a gas cooker, a deep chest freezer and a standing fridge freezer, a a wonderful range of cooking utensils.
and i keep seeing ones that are like 50 -100 quid.
are they that expensive?
crikey!!
preferably i need a stoneware one( i just think that this is best) - but i keep seeing cast iron ones.
arrrgh!!
casserole, smasherole...
what do i do?
you know what i will ask my mum for my wedding gift, a kitchen pot set.. casserole, large cooking pots - quality ones.
and what will i get myself, Godwilling a fandabedozy double oven cooker - preferably a gas cooker, a deep chest freezer and a standing fridge freezer, a a wonderful range of cooking utensils.
Friday, 19 November 2010
Thoughts
my Lord admit me a honorable admittance, and let me depart a honorable depature and grant me from Thee a powerful support - i just realised that i admit i dont say this often enough.
the temptation is there to observe prayer/salat as a perfunctory objective - do it and get it done with and move on to something else.
but prayer/salat is more than that, it is a connection to your Creator, it is reaching out and keeping touch with God.
the inspiration to stay and sit and meditate on Gods wonderful attributes is God's gift to us and should not be taken lightly...
it is a habit that i want to develop, but i understand that my difficulties lies with my everyday duties such as job, home, sleep etc
but nevertheless the overiding consensus should be and is that God somes first. i guess it is a learning curve , to remember to sit or stand or lay after prayer/salat to meditate on Gods attributes.
how long is enough? the answer to that is how long is a piece of string...
even after prayer and on your walk back to work, you can still meditate and praise, even on the journey to the bed till you fall asleep, and transcend the glorification of your Lord to everything that you do.
sometimes, i forget that life is a learning curve, it is a growth process, sometimes you grow, sometimes you stay stagnant and sometimes you may regress, but then you can grow again.
surely remember God is able to revive dead lands...
my Lord admit me a honorable admittance and let me depart a honorable depature, and grant me from thee a powerful support - truly i dont say this often enough.
i remember when i first heard it, i was inspired and it gladdened my heart, for me it just clicked, but over the course of these years, i remember it and sometimes i forget.
May my Lord help me to remember and to do better next time.
As always my Lord, inspiration belongs to thee always and forever.
All Praise is Yours, All Authority, All Kingshio and All Glory - in this life and in the hereafter There is no other God but thee. Be Thou Glorified Most Gracious Lord.
the temptation is there to observe prayer/salat as a perfunctory objective - do it and get it done with and move on to something else.
but prayer/salat is more than that, it is a connection to your Creator, it is reaching out and keeping touch with God.
the inspiration to stay and sit and meditate on Gods wonderful attributes is God's gift to us and should not be taken lightly...
it is a habit that i want to develop, but i understand that my difficulties lies with my everyday duties such as job, home, sleep etc
but nevertheless the overiding consensus should be and is that God somes first. i guess it is a learning curve , to remember to sit or stand or lay after prayer/salat to meditate on Gods attributes.
how long is enough? the answer to that is how long is a piece of string...
even after prayer and on your walk back to work, you can still meditate and praise, even on the journey to the bed till you fall asleep, and transcend the glorification of your Lord to everything that you do.
sometimes, i forget that life is a learning curve, it is a growth process, sometimes you grow, sometimes you stay stagnant and sometimes you may regress, but then you can grow again.
surely remember God is able to revive dead lands...
my Lord admit me a honorable admittance and let me depart a honorable depature, and grant me from thee a powerful support - truly i dont say this often enough.
i remember when i first heard it, i was inspired and it gladdened my heart, for me it just clicked, but over the course of these years, i remember it and sometimes i forget.
May my Lord help me to remember and to do better next time.
As always my Lord, inspiration belongs to thee always and forever.
All Praise is Yours, All Authority, All Kingshio and All Glory - in this life and in the hereafter There is no other God but thee. Be Thou Glorified Most Gracious Lord.
Thursday, 18 November 2010
why
sometimes i wonder about life and i ask myself why?
why?
sometimes it makes me question myself and my convictions...
why?
sometimes it makes me question myself and my convictions...
Tuesday, 16 November 2010
Winter blues
i have notices something - as the year approaches the end, i get more depressed.
yes i have said it and i accept it i am depressed.
i am having flashes of high highs! and low lows and it is messig up my head.
but nevertheless, Be thou Glorified Most Gracious Lord.. wether i am happy or sad, crying with joy or mad, Let e forever praise thee and Glorify.
yes i have said it and i accept it i am depressed.
i am having flashes of high highs! and low lows and it is messig up my head.
but nevertheless, Be thou Glorified Most Gracious Lord.. wether i am happy or sad, crying with joy or mad, Let e forever praise thee and Glorify.
Sunday, 7 November 2010
help please my Lord
Most Gracious,
i know i should not worry but i guess that i still will.
but this does not mean that i dont trust in thee..
i like to worry because, worry makes me more humble, it makes me more appreciative of thee.
these dreams my lord, they trouble me, they trouble me because it brings up faces of people i have lost trust in, people i prefer to forget..
when i start to see them in my dreams, these old feelings of mistrust surfaces again and it makes me think wrong thoughts and let the imagination of my mind unfold and descend yet into deeper depths.
it does not help that the story surrounding these faces if personal...
Most Gracious, i do trust in thee, i have no choice in this matter neither do i want to have a choice in it.
As you are my creator, you have created me, As you are my Lord, you have total control over my life, As you are my God you are the Best sustainer, Provider and Nourisher.
So i will continually - if thy Grace permits - to ask thee daily, to sustain me, to nourish me and provide for me.
your blessings that are life inspiring, My King, i beg of thee.
in some ways i feel like a failure, like a second rate thing not worthy of your blessings, but then i remember that you have asked us to implore thee, to be appreciative of thee, to remember thee.
These things i seek - if thy Grace permits - to do all my life.
I also remember that you have said your mercy is one of you attributes - so my Lord, i implore thee to have mercy on me and help me.
at the same time, i seek refuge in Thee - my Lord , lest i ask for that of which i have no knowledge but i am confidant that my Lord is good to me and He is in control and knows what is best.
i know i should not worry but i guess that i still will.
but this does not mean that i dont trust in thee..
i like to worry because, worry makes me more humble, it makes me more appreciative of thee.
these dreams my lord, they trouble me, they trouble me because it brings up faces of people i have lost trust in, people i prefer to forget..
when i start to see them in my dreams, these old feelings of mistrust surfaces again and it makes me think wrong thoughts and let the imagination of my mind unfold and descend yet into deeper depths.
it does not help that the story surrounding these faces if personal...
Most Gracious, i do trust in thee, i have no choice in this matter neither do i want to have a choice in it.
As you are my creator, you have created me, As you are my Lord, you have total control over my life, As you are my God you are the Best sustainer, Provider and Nourisher.
So i will continually - if thy Grace permits - to ask thee daily, to sustain me, to nourish me and provide for me.
your blessings that are life inspiring, My King, i beg of thee.
in some ways i feel like a failure, like a second rate thing not worthy of your blessings, but then i remember that you have asked us to implore thee, to be appreciative of thee, to remember thee.
These things i seek - if thy Grace permits - to do all my life.
I also remember that you have said your mercy is one of you attributes - so my Lord, i implore thee to have mercy on me and help me.
at the same time, i seek refuge in Thee - my Lord , lest i ask for that of which i have no knowledge but i am confidant that my Lord is good to me and He is in control and knows what is best.
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