God is seer of all things

I am at pains to try to wrte something.. but the honest truth is that i dont feel anything to write..
my thoughts are not forced and the way i feel is from my heart..

But cos i am not writing doesnt mean that I have forgotten about you...

This ramadan is one interesting one... most certainly not my best.. but nevertheless I thank thee o Lord... i am trying to find motivation to do the night calling..
but its not there... but i try to speak to Thee Lord,.
i like nite time callings.. this is when the soul is at it best....when you are faced bare with all your demons and you have to rise above them to reach out to your Lord....

on thie face of this.. I have to count my blessings... because it is indeed a blessing to be able to do a nite time calling.. for when my soul reaches out to its Lord, when i am unduly filled with Praise and Songs to Glorify my God.. That is when my heart is most happy... For then i know that i am tryly blessed. and in that My heart is secure...

God right now i feel i am falling but then again i dont think i am falling...
But i will reach out to you still and ask Thee not tolet go of me, Butto keep me firmly amd securely within the expanse of your care and attention. to tie me to thee with a bond so tight to keep your praise in my heart day after day, to increase in my devotion for Thee and to inspire me to remember thee always... The solution for that is "Subhanaka lahuma, rabbil alamin"...
"Be you glofied my Lord, Lord of the universe"

I am still battling the same demons, but i have the antedote for that.. "My Lord do not condemn me if i forget or make a mistake, My Lord, protect me from blaspheming against you like others before me have done, My Lord, protect me from sinning until it becomes too late fo rme to repent, My lord redeem me, forgive me, have mercy on me, you are my Lord and master, Grant me victory over the disbelievers" i guess it willforever be a battle, some days i am victorious and some days i dont feel so.. but all in all its a lesson in life for me to learn..

September will always be a touchy month for me for in that i count rememberance...Bu i am a lot better and thank God much more stronger..But if not for your grace i wouldnt be able to accept what iwanted to do.. I would have always run from it or ut it aside for a later date... all in all Lord, I have no complints in my life or in my fate.. I may moan sometimes.. but thats the human nature for you.. to moan, but i am nevertheless grateful for all my trials and tribulations, for all my joys and successes, For all your kind mercies and love and attention, for all the lessons and heartaches...

i may wish for this , I may long fo rthat.. but i never truly know if what i am wishing for or longing for is good for me.. as such Master of my Fate and freedon, I leave my life story up to thee..for Thee to guide me to the straight path and KEEP me in the straight path.

Your will is my comannd, Your direction is my way, Your inspiration to me to keep me company.

Remember the words.. Wa huwa aynama kuntu , wa llahu bima ta'maluma basir.. "God is with you wherever you may be, God is the seer of all things"...

Inspite and despite my Lord... its is still, Subhanaka lahuma, rabbil a'lamin
.......................


Fa ta'ala llahu mulku -ul haqqu.. la illaha illa huwa rabbul arsh-il azeem..
Most exalted/High is God the one true sovereign.. There is no other God apart from Him, the Most honorable Lord, The Most wise