23 september

exactly 3 months to my birthday...
the 23rd September is a date i want to forget but i find it hard to..
it is getting easier and better for in the sorrow i saw a blessing...
remember in order to gain one must loose..
I lost on that that and I gained at the same time..
when ii was young i used to say to myself.. in a way sort of preempt what was going to happen..
i used to have this notion that this thing will be a test for me... and what would i do.. would i stand and deliver or would i crumble...
it was tough, i had never felt love like i was loved.. i had never felt friendship like it was given to me..
God God gives and God takes,,, and He knows our tomorrow and our past.. He knows what will and what wont..
yes we probably dabbled in sin.. but it was a lesson to be learnt and indeed i have learnt my lesson...through knowing ,I was able to gain strenght, through inspiration i was able to find my calling..
it was a shame that we both had different views on the faith thing...
My God is one God, The initiator of the heavens and earths and everything between as such is the ethos of my Life.. and God willing will be forever.

if i said i didn't know what pain was , I would be lying,, cos i felt loss and i was in pain.. everyday for 2 years i cried, it wasn't until early this year that i started being better and i was able to say that i was healing...

and then, so much has gone under the water, my childishness, selfishness and stubbornness did not help me at all...

today i am reminded of it again, and i feel sad...
God i am not a hopeless case am I?
in any case remember
My Lord provides for whomever He wills, He is the best Provider.
Nothing that God willed to be Can be stopped by any force neither can anything God wills to avert can be put in place by anyone.
Gods time is the best, everything in this life after all is fickle and child's play, What matters the most is my soul and attaining righteousness and the worship/praise of my God to the best of my ability..
God guide me and keep me in his path firmly.

My Lord regardless the circumstances, whether it goes my way or not, My Lord regardless the heartache or pain, Keep me near to thee, praising thee, glorifying thee,
In times of jubilation and in times if tribulations, Met me always praise thee, For in every sorrow we as humans feel is a blessing that we dont realise...