voices in my head

some things are troubling me you know...some new and some old...
i thought i had a grip on it but i guess it is a constant thing in my mind whereby i have to overcome it as best as i can. God willing this is possible.
I am hearing voices... trust me i am already mad... but I am hearing voices.
The perturbing thing is that there are two voices. one which conforms to my thoughts and understands my stance.. and the other which just blasphemies until i get a grip on it...
untowardly this does not bother me at all because i like to know the far right and far left of every action and thought... it amuses me... but i have discovered that my left voice- the one which goes on and on nd blasphemies- is made up of words, actions and thoughts that i have witnessed from friends and people i surround myself with, from programmes i have watched of books that i have read. these culmination of words is thereby thrown at me "en masse" from time to time... which i dont mind, ( because i then have an internal arguement with myself and go on facts on logic alone) but the one that seems to bother me the most is when i am seeking solace through prayer and deep in thought.
Whilst i know that there is one God and i agree with that fact whole heartedly... I get this rather annoying voice going jesus jesus in my head... rather annoyying wont you think... because why jesus jesus...why not mohammed mohammed... or moses moses... lol

just like the other time that i was researching the hindu religion,,, all my head was going was hindu chants that i read and playing them back in my head and saying things that i consider as horrible and untrue

anyhow, of late i have been around my friends who are all christians and who at every moment exclaim jesus jesus and this reported speech /repeated speech is replayed in my head... over and over again.
Whilst i accept jesus as a messengerof God, i dont accept him as anything else. and that is that frankly..

some christians may say that is is a sign for me to finally accept jesus as lord and master... but i think not..
God be praised and glorified far above the heavens and earth.
My God is one God and all are subiervant to Him.
He is the one who is One God, He did not beget not was He begotten and no one equals him. no one comes even close to the magnitude of my Lord, least of all a mere human that he has creted.
i know who my Lord is.. and i affirm this choice day after day and on this stance i take and am proud to say that My Lord is God, The most gracrious. He is my lord and your Lord, jesus's Lord and mohammeds Lord and he is the same Lord of Abraham and moses and everything else He created.

Jesus is not my God, can never be, will never be.. Jesusu is a servant of my Lord and one of greater rank in my Lords cause.. as is mohammed as is every otehr messenger of my lord.

it is very easy for someone to be mistaken thinking that the voices are signs for them pointing them to what is good for them... but I am not someone.. I am adetutu.. I am beholded to my God so i know and my heart/soul knows that this voice is false..
Logic will always overide everything else. and truth will always stand out from falsehood.

on so many levels i cannot blame it, because i am the one who surrounds my self with the material for its onslaught on me.. i am the one who feeds it because of my long disregard for what was right and truth.. thereby giving myself the hard task of cleansing myself...

See how my mind works..... especially with what i hear and listen to...???everything is played back in my head... when i dont want it to... worse of becausei picture everything... full 360 degree playback.

I have given up watching some movies... because my head stores the pictures and replays then willy nilly, I also veto books that i read now adays due to the same thing... By and large this has helped me streamline where my head/voices gather from... but i guess i need to do more.
By admitting and freely speaking of it... i am able to get a first step and God willing i will be victorious...
suffice to say that before embarking on any film/book/ visit i should seek refuge with God and ask that my thought are not polluted by what i may be privy to even though i may not share their stance...

how do i reconcile these two statements...
one who does not persecute you because of religion you may be friends with them 60:8
one who is hopelessly stuck in disbelief you should not befriend them... 60:13
this is bothering me you know.....