the darkness seems to want to envelope me again dear lord. so i seek refuge with thee. it comes and goes most weeks more than others. i am trying to understand it trying to study it to figure out what triggers it..today it was a lit after work the feeling of despair and helplessness. the word on my head was i am loosing control of my life.
trying to stay upbeat with children and not let my demons affect them.. trying to stay upbeat and focus on them.. i still dont understand why i get these feelings and thoughts.. it seems easier to accept them but i dont know. the other day i read about someone who maybe took their life
and i saw a glimpse of their madness. it reminded me of me... we were not too far apart in thoughts. i am scared lord.
in everything guide me. with everything bless me. for everything show me. thy name be praised and glorified always.
Monday, 15 February 2016
darkness
Sunday, 7 February 2016
mantra
rabbana la tuwakhisna innasina awakhtana
rabbana wa la tahmil alayna isran kama hamaltahu alla ladzina min qablina. rabbana wa la tuhamilna ma la taqata lana bihi. wa afuwana wa aghfirlana wa arhamna anta maulana fa ansurna ala alqaomil kafirin.
this translates for me as our lord do not condem us if we forget or make a mistake. our lord let us not blasphemy against you like others before us have done. our lord keep is from sinning until it is too late for us..pardon us forgive us and have mercy on us you are.our master. grant us victory over those that disbelieve.
the above is my mantra for the day..it reminds me how easy it is to forget simple prayers and thoughts..
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